I know we’re all saying it right now, but man – that went by quick.
As I wrapped up my final tasks today, I took a few minutes to reflect on what an incredible, fortunate year we’ve had. 2019 brought us so many opportunities, and so many chances to help new clients navigate their way to their next chapter. I’m so proud of the work my team and I have accomplished this year, and of the number of people we’ve helped.
Our achievements haven’t been too shabby, either! We earned the prestigious Reisman Award for legal innovation, we enjoyed a number of new press opportunities (including this fun OZY profile) and most excitingly, we launched our Divorce Navigator app, our innovative, best-in-tech platform that helps people just like you complete, print and the California divorce forms that are relevant to your specific case.
I’m also extremely happy that we’ve brought new voices into the fold. We regularly update our helpful trove of resources and articles available to anyone with a free Starter Membership, and we’ve brought a variety of experts to you directly through our blog. In the divorce industry, it’s not always common for people to “play nicely” – which is why I am SO proud of our ability to build partnerships, highlight so many truly smart and thoughtful experts, and feature the work of others in the divorce field so prominently on our site. We adore our partners and peers in the field, and I am delighted to use this platform to help you get to know them better, too.
On that note, I thought it might be fun to round up a few of my favorite quotes, from a few of my favorite additions to Hello Divorce this year. I hope you’ll be as moved by them as I have been:
“A redesign of what family looks like does not mean you are sentenced to “death” (otherwise known as loneliness). It simply means you have the freedom to do whatever you would like, regardless of what others think!”
-Wendy Sterling in An Unapologetically Single Mom Thanksgiving Tradition:
“My kids are ½ my ex. I will never risk them fearing that ½ of them is wrong. If I hate their other parent, they experience part of me hating a part of them.”
-A very wise client, as quoted in California Divorce: Meditations to Help You Stay Positive
“Sorry I’m late. I was obsessing over all the things I want to say to you but won’t because I don’t want to spend $100,000 on legal fees.”
-My “practical” client, as featured in The 15 Most Relatable Divorce Quotes Ever
“Relationships are like careers. Some people take on a career and stay there the whole time. Others move around a lot. I was a teacher for 10 years before I became a school psychologist. It’s not like I regret my previous career, it’s just that at a certain point in my life, that wasn’t the right fit for me.
I wish more people looked at relationships the way we look at careers.”
“The most important thing that helped me, and eventually both of us, after going through the emotions and the hardships and logistics of moving Clara back and forth between us, was the acceptance that we were a new kind of family. One chapter in our relationship ended, but we had started a new one.”
Forever is a nearly unattainable objective, born of bygone eras when marriages were business deals brokered for merging families, finances, or bloodlines, or when “till death do us part” was a much briefer journey, when people in their 50s and 60s slowed down and retired from energetic activity, to sit in rocking chairs waiting for the undertaker. But happily, those days are gone. We’re going to live to be 80, 90, 100, with, if we’re lucky, active brains and bodies pretty much to the end. We should be free to pursue happiness throughout our long, healthy lives.
That often means allowing ourselves to start over. Fresh beginnings. Second, third, or fourth chances. Unconstrained by antiquated notions about contracts for life. It’s OK to want that. It’s OK to go for it.
-Steve Kane, author of F*** It. Get A Divorce: The Guide for Optimists, in his post Your Marriage Will Probably End in Divorce, and That’s Totally Fine.
I was really nervous to share the news of my cancer diagnosis with my ex. I was concerned that he might throw a custody curveball at me and I’d find myself fighting for custody again instead of focusing on my health. However, for the most part he was incredibly accommodating.
Being divorced actually ended up being a blessing, believe it or not. During my surgeries, my daughter went to her dad’s house, and I knew she was excited to play with her new baby brother, which helped alleviate my guilt. My ex was really flexible, which was very helpful and helped me trust him a bit more. We switched weekends when I had chemo, so on my worst days I didn’t have to worry about her seeing me at my lowest, nor did I need to worry about keeping her entertained.
“When someone you love doesn’t love you back the way you thought they did, the future feels unknown and scary. But try to think of it as a blank slate. This is an opportunity to rewrite your story. A lot of people don’t get that chance.”
-Jennifer Giamo, in I Didn’t See it Coming. But I’ve Moved On, and You Can, Too
And finally, if you’re looking for some incredibly relevant quotes about divorce, my collection of the 15 Most Relatable Divorce Quotes Ever will make you laugh, smile, and take note.
Thank you for being here, and for being part of this incredible year. I’m already excited about the plans, announcements and new features in store for you through Hello Divorce in 2020, and I can’t wait to share more.
Because truly, the best is yet to come.