Marriage compatibility

Is Your Spouse a “Training Partner”?

If you are thinking of divorce, you may have what I call a “training partner.” I learned this from my years of studying Aikido and martial arts. In the dojo, you can’t get better unless you have a great training partner. A training partner is the person who most challenges you—the person you feel most frustrated, challenged, angry, hurt or betrayed by. Along with your spouse, a training partner can be a boss, a co-worker, a child or a friend. These training partners are here to offer you an opportunity to grow and expand.

Training partners seem to have this unbelievable talent of triggering deep, painful emotions in us. They can make us feel inadequate. They can make us feel so angry and enraged. They can bring out our righteousness. That’s what they’re there for. It’s not a mistake. It’s an opportunity to grow.

Read on to find out if you tied the knot with a training partner and how to move forward with your life.

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Relationship advice

Three Steps to Expanding & Growing During Challenging Times

Oftentimes in life we find ourselves in what appears to be a difficult and painful situation. Divorce is a great example. Divorce. Life is not going the way we dreamed about or expected. When this happens we may feel like we have been kicked in the gut.

I have found that in situations like this, life is asking us to expand and grow. The thing that is causing us so much pain is really a call to expand ourselves in disguise. (A very clever disguise at that.) To find the place where we can grow, I use a simple three step process with my clients.

Step 1: Discovery
Before we can begin to expand and grow, we first have to accept all of the painful emotions that we feel. We need to become present to what is really true for us. We make an honest assessment of what is so. This is the most difficult part of the growth process because we may have to revisit our rage, anger, hurt, or disappointment. We may have to be in a period where we feel stuck. Who loves feeling this way? Not I, for sure. Yet we cannot skip this process. If we skip it, we will never make progress. These emotions need to be resolved and honored.

Sign up for a free subscription to read on about the next steps to take when doing your best to grow in the face of adversity.

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