Guest Blog by ‘Scary Mommy’ Founder Jill Smokler: So, Your Spouse is Gay.

It’s been a while. A year and a half, actually, since I announced the end of my marriage. Related: Q&A with Jill Smokler, Founder of ‘Scary Mommy,’ on Life After Divorce When the news came out, I was bombarded with messages from fellow gay spouses all around the world. The letters of support were easy to respond to, and so very much appreciated. The other letters, however – the ones seeking my advice – were an entirely different story. Barely functioning…

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How to Calm Your Divorce Overwhelm in 6 Steps

I’ve been in the divorce industry for 14 years. As a lawyer, law firm owner, and now (also) as a legal tech entrepreneur who has launched Hello Divorce, the first of its kind “divorce with benefits” online platform offering on demand legal help and wellness support. I love what I do. Some might call me a proponent of divorce. I’m not. But I do believe, as my friend and colleague, Gabrielle Hartley, wrote about in her new book, some people…

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Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle

“The best revenge is to have enough self-worth not to seek it.” It was the perfect quote to start the podcast. I recently had the pleasure of chatting with Audrey Zada on Divorce and Other Things You Can Handle. It’s an awesome new podcast from Worthy, a resource for selling your wedding ring when you’re ready to let go – and so much more. I’m a frequent contributor to their blog because I love, love that they’re more than a…

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No One Divorces The Same – How to Make the Best of Yours and Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

In the midst of a divorce, it is only natural to compare your own relationships to others. How we perceive others’ divorces can create a measuring stick for our own and during this time, it’s natural to feel insecure. After all, you’ve just made a major change to your life. But now is where the real work comes in– it’s when we begin creating a new life that fits where you are right now. In creating this new version of…

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5 Ways to Get Your Divorce “Unstuck”

OK, so you feel totally stuck. All you want is closure and yet your divorce is lingering on and on. You’ve tried everything. You’ve tried nothing. You don’t have any clue what to do next. You have a list so long you don’t know where to start. Relate to any of this? First things first, are you really stuck? To know me is to know that it drives me crazy that everywhere we look, divorce is seen as an event.…

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This is Why You Need a Strategy for Your Divorce

We view divorce as an event. As if one day you announce, “I’m getting a divorce,” and the next day your marriage is over. The truth is, it’s a journey. It’s a process. It’s a method by which you transition out of your marriage and re-prioritize your relationships, especially your relationship with yourself. Sometimes there is still love. Sometimes the love that once was has long been extinguished. As renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel says, “Ending a marriage goes beyond the…

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The Best Divorce Advice Ever Given or Received (From People Who’ve Been There)

Whether you’re at the beginning of the divorce process or in the thick of it, I can’t stress enough how helpful it can be to share your experience with others who are in or have gone through a divorce. Connecting with someone who’s been in your shoes can help put things in perspective, or at least make you feel a little less alone. If you don’t already have a friend who has gone through divorce, you can seek out a…

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5 Ways to Reclaim Your (Whole) Self After Divorce

“I went to war for what we had; you never even laced up your boots.” – N.R. Shepherd You spent years trying to turn your relationship into the type of partnership that you had hoped for – one where you (always) had each other’s backs, celebrated one another’s “whole” selves, enjoyed moments of playfulness and shared intimacy. You wholeheartedly invested your time, money, energy, and other resources to make it work. You were selfless. You were hopeful. You trusted the…

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New Rules for Splitting Up

I was in court today. Something I try wholeheartedly not to do whenever possible. Not because I’m not a skilled litigator (I am), but because it is such an awful experience for most people — even when they “win.” Having been on the other side of the table a few times as a plaintiff in a civil case and witness in a criminal case, I have the unique perspective of understanding how it feels to be in court with a…

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Resolution: Divorce. What To Do Now If You’ve Decided To Divorce In 2018

If you’re thinking about getting a divorce in 2018, you’re on the clock. Every divorce in California must start with a Petition and Response – meaning, you or your spouse must file official paperwork with the court stating your intent to divorce. (Learn more about the Petition and Response process here.) After the Petition is filed, it takes at least 6 months and one day – by law in California – to finalize your divorce. (Note: You won’t be automatically…

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