stuck cause of your divorce

5 Ways to Get Your Divorce “Unstuck”

OK, so you feel totally stuck. All you want is closure and yet your divorce is lingering on and on. You’ve tried everything. You’ve tried nothing. You don’t have any clue what to do next. You have a list so long you don’t know where to start. Relate to any of this? First things first, are you really stuck? To know me is to know that it drives me crazy that everywhere we look, divorce is seen as an event.…

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Strategy for divorce

This is Why You Need a Strategy for Your Divorce

We view divorce as an event. As if one day you announce, “I’m getting a divorce,” and the next day your marriage is over. The truth is, it’s a journey. It’s a process. It’s a method by which you transition out of your marriage and re-prioritize your relationships, especially your relationship with yourself. Sometimes there is still love. Sometimes the love that once was has long been extinguished. As renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel says, “Ending a marriage goes beyond the…

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best divorce advice

The Best Divorce Advice Ever Given or Received (From People Who’ve Been There)

Whether you’re at the beginning of the divorce process or in the thick of it, I can’t stress enough how helpful it can be to share your experience with others who are in or have gone through a divorce. Connecting with someone who’s been in your shoes can help put things in perspective, or at least make you feel a little less alone. If you don’t already have a friend who has gone through divorce, you can seek out a…

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reclaiming your whole self divorce

5 Ways to Reclaim Your (Whole) Self After Divorce

“I went to war for what we had; you never even laced up your boots.” – N.R. Shepherd You spent years trying to turn your relationship into the type of partnership that you had hoped for – one where you (always) had each other’s backs, celebrated one another’s “whole” selves, enjoyed moments of playfulness and shared intimacy. You wholeheartedly invested your time, money, energy, and other resources to make it work. You were selfless. You were hopeful. You trusted the…

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Divorce Process

Resolution: Divorce. What To Do Now If You’ve Decided To Divorce In 2018

If you’re thinking about getting a divorce in 2018, you’re on the clock. Every divorce in California must start with a Petition and Response – meaning, you or your spouse must file official paperwork with the court stating your intent to divorce. (Learn more about the Petition and Response process here.) After the Petition is filed, it takes at least 6 months and one day – by law in California – to finalize your divorce. (Note: You won’t be automatically…

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Feeling Stuck

Three Nitty Gritty Truths About Making Life’s Big Choices & What to Do If You’re Feeling Stuck

One of the most common things I hear in my therapy practice goes something along the lines of this: “I feel stuck. I just don’t know what to do or how to make choices about [fill in the blank about career, relationships, life choices in general…]. What do I do? How do I get unstuck?” Does this feel familiar? Maybe you’ve been wrestling with a question for a few weeks or a few years now, turning choices over and over and over…

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Guide to divorce

The Good Friend’s Guide to Divorce

So many members of the Hello Divorce community tell me they have joined because they know someone going through a divorce. They wanted to find a way to be supportive, and felt that our tip sheets, resources and videos would be a good way to help them feel informed enough to support their loved one through this difficult process. While you’ll find resources on every aspect of divorce, from our pre-leaving checklist to how to prepare for a meeting with…

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divorce and communication

Is Your Style of Communication Getting in the Way of Your Relationships?

Have you ever been in conversation with your loved ones and just found it impossible to really, truly, communicate? Like no matter how carefully you tried to explain your point of view the whole conversation seemed to go off the rails in a series of misses and you all ended up feeling not-so-good about the contact you just had? It might have something to do with one of the four communication styles you learned in childhood. Communication styles fall into four…

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Wedding ring & divorce

But What to Do With the Ring? (Hint: let it help open the door to your next chapter.)

In her book, “How to Catch a Man, How to Keep a Man, How to Get Rid of a Man,” the late Zsa Zsa Gabor wrote, “Diamonds are a better investment for a married woman than anything else because if it should ever happen that some day you wind up getting a divorce and all the property is being divided up, your husband will probably say, if he is a gentleman, ‘We will share all of the other property, but…

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surviving divorce or a breakup during holidays

6 Sanity-Saving Tips for Surviving the Holidays, from People Who’ve Been There

The holidays are hard. And not just Aunt Ethel’s stale fruitcake hard. Navigating this time of year alone for the first time post separation or divorce can stir emotions or wreak havoc on the progress you’ve already made in getting through to the next chapter of your life. So, we tapped the experts – people who have been in your shoes – for their advice on holiday survival: 1. Give Yourself a Special Gift “Invest in yourself. You might not…

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