“A goal without a plan is just a wish.” – Antoine de Sainte-Exupery
When it’s all over, it’s going to hit you like a ton of bricks: your divorce has been finalized. This process that has taken so much energy, surfaced so many emotions – finally, it’s done.
My sincere hope is that you never have to ask yourself that question. Because the most centered, happy and confident people I’ve worked with have one thing in common: they planned ahead to set themselves up for success post-divorce. And, it’s not as difficult as you might think.
Visualizing what your life will look like after your divorce is an excellent tool to help you stay focused on the bigger picture during a process that is almost guaranteed to drag you into the weeds left and right until every last detail is sorted. The stronger your vision of life post-divorce, the more focused you’ll be on the next chapter waiting for you. And setting a goal or two can help you strengthen that vision.
Tools in Your Toolbox
There are so many ways you can start planning now for the life you want to live.
- Vision Board: Grab a stack of old magazines, some scissors and glue and get your creativity flowing! Thinking about redesigning the house after the divorce is final? Create a board full of images of bedding, artwork and furniture that you love, to let yourself “see” what you’ll design. Interested in taking a trip or exploring new hobbies? Clip pictures that remind you of all the places you’ll be able to see, or activities you’ll be free to do once your divorce is final. Seeing is believing; reminding yourself of the possibilities in store, in this very visible way, will help you focus on the prize ahead.
- Meet with a life coach: Maybe you have dozens of goals and plans for life post-divorce, but you just don’t know where to start. Or maybe you have no idea where to start at all. A life coach can be a terrific resource. Their job is to help you focus on the future, to distill goals you truly want to achieve, and work with you to pinpoint a roadmap to get there. I recommend reading a guest post, How a Life Coach Can Help You Thrive After Divorce, to learn what to expect and how to get started working with a life coach.
- Download our new worksheet: We’ve just released a brand-new worksheet, Goal Setting for Life Post-Divorce. It helps you think through all the areas in which you could set a goal, and then helps you break down steps to achieving that goal by pinpointing your “why” – your reason for wanting the goal in the first place – as well as identifying a support network that can help you get there and small steps you can take to make meeting your goal manageable.
If you’re at the beginning of the divorce process or working through it, remember that focusing on the future is a terrific way to remind yourself that this period in your life is temporary. You will get past this, you will move on to your next amazing chapter, and there’s absolutely no reason that you can’t start working toward that chapter right now.