The ENTJ personality is extroverted, intuitive, thinking, and judging.
ENTJs are hard workers who are friendly, assertive, and motivated. They tend to be future-oriented people who set goals and work unabashedly to attain them. ENTJs are interested in growing, learning, and leading others. Their strong will is an asset in many situations, though their self-confidence may intimidate some people.
Tips for handling divorce as an ENTJ
Plan your divorce strategy
First, we suggest listening to our podcast recording Why You Need a Divorce Strategy. It includes actionable steps you can take right now to formulate your divorce plan. Because ENTJs can be somewhat impulsive, a written strategy will help keep you on track.
Consider setting some ground rules for your interactions with your spouse. You might decide to only discuss hot-button issues when the two of you are in a public place. And if you’re co-parenting with your spouse and can’t agree on something, invite a mediator to help you make important decisions—including where your kids will spend their days and nights.
Share the driver’s seat
As a proactive and goal-oriented person, you know what you want from your divorce, and you may have already devised a plan to get there. But your soon-to-be-ex has their own ideas, too. One of the best ways to maintain goodwill is to welcome compromise.
Ask your spouse what they hope to achieve in the divorce settlement. Ask them what sort of co-parenting plan they envision. Then, make it your shared goal to both get (at least part of) you want.
Be mindful of your body language
Some people—your soon-to-be-ex included—may be intimidated by your confidence and driven nature. Reassure them that you respect and accept them as they are—if not as a spouse, then at least as another human being. Make eye contact, listen with your whole body, and validate them with positive attention. This can be a tough pill to swallow if you harbor bitter feelings toward your ex, but then there’s that saying, “Kill them with kindness.”
Long story short: You’re more likely to get the results you want if you convey a positive attitude.
Think before you speak
ENTJs often speak without thinking about how their words will be interpreted by others. But now is not the time to be free and easy with your speech. Pause before you talk to your ex and anyone affiliated with your ex.
Ask yourself, “Is what I’m about to say helpful? Is it kind? Is it necessary?” If you’re unsure of the answer to any of these questions, take a short break. Walk around the block, or go grab a coffee and some air. ENTJs are great at strategizing, so make it part of your practice to think about which words you could use to achieve your goals.
Take care of you
For you, ENTJ, we recommend self-care that focuses not only on your short-term well-being but also on your long-term well-being. As one of our favorite psychotherapists, Annie Wright, once said, “Self-care doesn’t always look like sleep, yoga, or green juice.”
To be the best you can be, what do you need to do? Download our free self-care worksheet to answer fun and interesting questions that shed light on easy steps you can take to nurture yourself through this stressful time.
Recommended reading for ENTJs
Hello Divorce was created to help people just like you make it through the rocky phase of divorce so you can turn the page and start a happier, healthier life chapter. We offer plans tailored to various needs and a slew of flat-rate and hourly services to help you cross each item off your to-do list with confidence.