The INTP personality is introverted, intuitive, thinking, and perceiving.
INTPs tend to be laid-back yet critical analysts of themselves, their lives, and their relationships. They are creative problem-solvers who know how to think outside of the box. That said, in the face of adversity, it may be easier for an INTP to blame others than to take charge and make positive life changes.
Tips for handling divorce as an INTP
Seek outside help from someone you trust
Trust is the key word here, as INTPs often have trouble letting others in. If you don’t have a vast community of close friends, that’s okay. You still don’t have to bear the weight of this divorce alone.
Mediators can help you resolve conflicts peacefully with your soon-to-be-ex. (Learn about how to find a neutral mediator here.) There are counselors trained to guide you through the complex web of emotions you’re undoubtedly feeling. (Learn about divorce therapy here.) And, if you’re up for it, there are support groups where you can confer and learn from like-minded individuals. In some cases, the meetings are virtual, so you don’t even have to leave the comfort of home.
Find a constructive outlet for your anger
Remind yourself that anger is a perfectly acceptable human emotion, but the way you deal with anger can significantly impact your quality of life. Instead of allowing anger to gnaw away at your insides—or letting it brew and eventually explode on everyone around you—find ways to gently let it out. Due to your introverted nature, this might mean taking long nature walks to blow off steam, practicing yoga in your living room, going crazy on a punching bag, or scribbling in a journal. Whatever outlet works for you, do it … not just once, but often.
Name your feelings
Divorce invites a deluge of overwhelming feelings: grief, panic, despair. You might also feel relief and joy. Allow your feelings to flow, and as you do, put your analytical brain to work by naming each one. Write them down in your journal. Many INTPs find it cathartic to know that each feeling has a label and a meaning.
Once you’ve named your feelings, find a way to express them. For example, you might write a poem or draw a picture for each emotion on your list. Or, you might turn on some music and dance each feeling out.
List the reasons why divorce is better than a bad marriage
Self-doubt sometimes creeps in on INTPs. Whether the divorce was your idea or theirs, remind yourself you’re doing the right thing. Identify at least three concrete reasons why you’re on the right path.
Maybe your new life will allow you to model a better “you” for your kids. Maybe you will have more energy to devote to personal growth. Maybe you will have more time to focus on your mental or physical health. Remind yourself that you’ve got this, and you’re going to be okay.
Keep your focus on the big picture
As an INTP, you’re probably pretty good at understanding the “big picture” in most situations. Harness this strength to your advantage. Yes, this is a painful time in your life. But in the end, you will be a stronger person, and you’ll be in a better position to become the you that you are meant to be. As food for thought, check out Hello Divorce’s compilation of favorite uplifting quotes.
Recommended reading for INTPs
You don’t have to do this alone, INTP. Hello Divorce is here to see you through. We created this low-cost divorce platform to help people just like you advance to your next life chapter. Contact us today for your free 15-minute informational call to learn more.