What the heck is a divorce lawyer doing writing a blog for two people in love, married, and with no intention of ever separating?
Is it because I’m unromantic? cynical? distasteful?
Gosh, I hope not.
I guess I’ve seen a lot of good love gone bad. I’ve seen once happily married people saying things like, “she was my best friend but I don’t even know her anymore” or “I’ve worked so hard for what I’ve earned, he doesn’t deserve what he’s demanding” or “I’m going to make her pay for giving up on us.”
But despite what we say in the heat of passion or when reacting to a broken heart, we loved and respected this person enough to marry, sometimes have children with, and share our most intimate moments.
So, what’s wrong with planning for the unexpected? Creating a plan while we are still in love so if god-for-bid, we hit splitsville, we can focus on healing and embarking on a fresh start — instead of fighting over everything including the kitchen sink.
We carry a first aid kit with us when we go camping. Not because we expect to fall down and hurt ourselves, but because we simply don’t know what might happen. We hope we’ll never have to use it but feel better knowing we’ve got it. Similarly, I’m suggesting we talk about the tough stuff while we are head over heels. We work on a “Plan B” — what life will look like should we separate. What if one party wants to go back to school? Will one parent stay home with the children? How will credit card debt be divided? Sure, we can’t plan for everything, but we certainly can think about what would financially make sense, and be “fair” — if our love goes south.
A Post-Nuptial Agreement can be a really effective tool for mitigating the perils of divorce. It’s time we confront the uncomfortable.