A couple’s decision to have kids – or even marry, for that matter – is no longer a given. In fact, the decision to remain childless has become increasingly popular with books, online communities, and podcasts dedicated to the joys of living a child-free life.
Many couples are realizing the decision to never have children makes more sense for their lifestyle. But does that decision lead to a healthier marriage, or not?
For the majority of couples, having kids is still part of the natural progression after marriage.
But with adult goals like buying a house, pursuing higher education, building a career, and taking time to travel and pursue interests, adding on yet another goal – raising and funding a child for 18+ years – can seem daunting, and some couples opt to skip it.
Do couples who consciously decide not to have kids regret their decision as they get older? New research says not really. These studies find that couples who remain child-free by choice are usually happy with their decision decades later. In fact, these studies showed that individuals who went on to become parents were more likely to show some regret about their choice later in life.
So, how many American married couples are childless today? According to the last U.S. Census, the number is growing: There was a 7% increase in households without kids over previous Census figures.
Similarly, Pew Research found that 44% of childless Americans between 18 and 49 said they were unlikely to go on and have kids. That’s up from 37% who said the same thing in 2018. Of these respondents, 56% said they simply didn’t want kids (as opposed to other reasons).
Do couples without children head to divorce court in higher numbers than ones who have kids? Research is mixed.
Although some older studies suggested that childless couples might have had a slightly higher rate of divorce than married couples with children, there's nothing to indicate this now. Divorce rates vary widely, and there are many factors considered in a couple’s decision to divorce, including whether they have children.
Divorce is challenging whether you have kids or not. But for childless couples, factors such as custody and child support are removed from the equation.
When childless couples divorce, most of their issues center on their own emotional and financial problems, such as how they’ll divide their property or if one person believes they deserve spousal support. When divorcing couples have children, custody and child support can become highly contentious issues.
Parenthood isn’t for everyone, and couples who choose to remain childless do so for a variety of reasons.
The decision not to have children has some obvious benefits, both to individuals and couples.
The bottom line is that there are benefits and drawbacks to having kids, and there is no one way to have a happy and fulfilled life. Communicating and understanding each other’s parenting priorities ensures that couples will make decisions that they both will be satisfied with long-term.
“Family” is defined in many different ways today. Because family is a bond and commitment between individuals, couples with or without children constitute a family.
Having kids is a huge responsibility. Serious discussions about having kids should occur before the wedding. In fact, this topic is frequently covered in premarital counseling.
But what if one person changes their mind? Try to get to the heart of each person’s feelings. Why does one person want kids? Why does the other person not want kids? For example, if financial concerns are preventing one spouse from wanting children, it may be possible that a financial expert could help them get a “big picture” idea of how to handle the expense.
But sometimes, it’s not so easy to find a middle ground about a big issue like this. If that’s the case, it might be the time to get the assistance of a couples’ therapist. This specialist can help the couple have meaningful and respectful discussions about the matter.
Facing an unplanned pregnancy can be an uncomfortable situation when a couple has agreed not to have kids. Both partners will need to consider their options and discuss how to handle the matter, respecting each other’s feelings and perspectives.
While parenthood isn’t for everyone, choosing to remain child-free is a decision that can have a significant impact on a marriage, especially when partners disagree on whether to have kids. Like any decision made within the context of marriage, deciding to have kids (or not) should be done with careful consideration and mutual respect and understanding.
Is it normal for child-free couples to divorce?
Yes. Child-free couples face the same relationship challenges as parents, and sometimes even more pressure because people assume they should have more time, freedom, or compatibility.
Do child-free couples have lower divorce rates?
Divorce data isn’t clear-cut. Some studies show slightly lower divorce rates, while others show higher. What matters more is communication, lifestyle alignment, and shared expectations.
Can disagreeing about having kids lead to divorce?
Yes. If one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t, the mismatch often becomes a dealbreaker. It’s a core life-value difference.
Do child-free couples experience different divorce emotions?
Many feel grief, societal judgment, or fear of starting over. Others feel relief or clarity. The emotional experience varies just like any other divorce.
Is a child-free divorce easier legally?
Usually yes. Without custody or parenting issues, the divorce focuses mainly on finances, property, and support—making the process simpler and faster.
How can child-free couples protect their future relationships?
By discussing lifestyle goals early, being honest about long-term expectations, and clarifying values around independence, career, finances, and intimacy.
Acknowledge the emotional impact
Recognize grief, relief, or judgment from others. Your experience is valid regardless of whether children are involved.
Clarify your financial picture
Gather statements, property details, and debts. Without custody issues, finances will be the main legal focus.
Choose the best divorce process
Decide whether mediation, collaborative divorce, or a DIY platform fits your level of agreement and complexity.
Divide property and responsibilities
Negotiate how to split homes, accounts, vehicles, digital assets, and any shared responsibilities like pets.
Plan your independence
Outline goals for housing, finances, work, and social support to create stability after the split.
Rebuild your identity
Use this chapter to reconnect with your values and lifestyle choices—especially those that shaped your child-free decision.
Prepare for future relationships
Reflect on compatibility, values, and lifestyle alignment to avoid repeating mismatches in future partnerships.