This is Why You Need a Strategy for Your Divorce

We view divorce as an event. As if one day you announce, “I’m getting a divorce,” and the next day your marriage is over. The truth is, it’s a journey. It’s a process. It’s a method by which you transition out of your marriage and re-prioritize your relationships, especially your relationship with yourself. Sometimes there is still love. Sometimes the love that once was has long been extinguished. As renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel says, “Ending a marriage goes beyond the…

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The Best Divorce Advice Ever Given or Received (From People Who’ve Been There)

Whether you’re at the beginning of the divorce process or in the thick of it, I can’t stress enough how helpful it can be to share your experience with others who are in or have gone through a divorce. Connecting with someone who’s been in your shoes can help put things in perspective, or at least make you feel a little less alone. If you don’t already have a friend who has gone through divorce, you can seek out a…

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9 Websites You Need to Bookmark if You’re Going Through Divorce Right Now

I am literally constantly on the lookout for new tips and guidance that can help my clients work through the divorce process in a more humane, inspired and empowered way. Websites, apps, resources, books, tools –  you name it. I’ve compiled a list of some of my favorite online resources, so you can bookmark them, too. All Around Resourceful I’ve Moved On – I love Thom’s positive but raw take on life after divorce: “moving on to life’s next great…

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5 Ways to Reclaim Your (Whole) Self After Divorce

“I went to war for what we had; you never even laced up your boots.” – N.R. Shepherd You spent years trying to turn your relationship into the type of partnership that you had hoped for – one where you (always) had each other’s backs, celebrated one another’s “whole” selves, enjoyed moments of playfulness and shared intimacy. You wholeheartedly invested your time, money, energy, and other resources to make it work. You were selfless. You were hopeful. You trusted the…

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Selling Your Home in Divorce? Here are 6 Things to Think About

One of the biggest tasks you face when divorcing is splitting up your assets. Chances are your home is the largest asset you share with your partner, and it may seem overwhelming to determine how to split up this asset. As a realtor who has gone through a divorce myself – considering these very same questions – here are a few things to think about to help make the process as smooth and painless as possible: Reach an agreement on…

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Marriage + Infidelity = Divorce? Not so fast.

Last fall, I read an article about infidelity in Divorce Magazine by Steven D. Solomon, Ph.D. and Lorie J. Teagno, Ph.D., clinical psychologists who had just released a book, Intimacy after Infidelity: How to Rebuild & Affair-Proof Your Marriage. They shared an interesting statistic: that 60 to 75 percent of couples who experienced a betrayal stayed together. As a divorce attorney, I work hard to help my clients navigate through a complex process that is usually the result of a…

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6 Steps to Take Before You Begin Divorce Mediation

Thinking about divorce mediation? Excellent idea if you and your spouse have the shared goal of uncoupling amicably (or at least are committed to working together to dissolve your marriage in a fair and cooperative way) but have too many issues to resolve them on your own. Working with a good mediator has its perks — most notably you can cut down on attorney fees and costs, go at your own pace, keep the intimate details of your life a…

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New Rules for Splitting Up

I was in court today. Something I try wholeheartedly not to do whenever possible. Not because I’m not a skilled litigator (I am), but because it is such an awful experience for most people — even when they “win.” Having been on the other side of the table a few times as a plaintiff in a civil case and witness in a criminal case, I have the unique perspective of understanding how it feels to be in court with a…

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How to Work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst

Over the course of the past several months, I’ve had the great fortune to get to know Jennifer Taylor, a Certified Public Accountant, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and founder of Square One Financial Services, Inc., based in San Clemente, California. Jennifer’s personal experience going through divorce inspired her to do what she does today: help others receive easy-to-understand financial guidance during their divorce process. Separation of financial assets is one of the most complicated parts of the California divorce process.…

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How to Keep Your Divorce Conversations Productive

First things first. If you want to negotiate an agreement with your spouse, you have to remember (and accept) the following principles: Be mindful that your purpose is to avoid arguing and to be as persuasive as possible. The communication issues you had during your marriage will not go away in separation. What does that mean? It means you need to manage your expectations and negotiation style or risk one or more of the following: constant arguing, bickering, flat out…

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