I am often the first person that people talk to when setting up meetings with their lawyer or when they have a quick non-legal question that I can assist with. While they are always very pleased with their service and credit our lawyers with making a very difficult time easier and bearable, they often still feel overwhelmed, stressed, and drained emotionally. Divorce can be stressful, emotional, and even tricky at times. Your lawyer is certainly there to make the process as stress-free as possible, but primarily from a legal standpoint. Divorce is a big change and an even bigger transition, which can be difficult to cope with. Finding ways to relieve stress and anxiety can improve this process from an emotional standpoint.
1. Give Yourself Permission to Indulge:
Get a pedicure or a manicure, get a massage, have a facial, try that new restaurant, buy the shoes…Give yourself permission to indulge without feeling guilty. Sometimes it is the little indulgences here and there that give us the greatest satisfaction.
2. Take a Deep Breath…or a Few:
We all know and have been told that being active can be a great form of release. Exercise has also been proven to release endorphins into your blood stream helping you to feel happier. Even a brisk walk around the block can help. Gym memberships can be pricey, but GroupOn is always offering a good deal on a yoga or kickboxing class.
3. Take Care of Yourself:
This one is simple, take care of yourself. Take a break when you need to, manage your stress levels as best you can, and make time to do things for you. (See Huffington Post’s ‘22 Books Everyone Should Read During Divorce.’)
4. Practice the Virtue of Patience:
During a divorce, or any difficult time, it is easy to find that you are being too hard on yourself or beating yourself up. It is important to be patient with yourself and acknowledge that this is a tough time for you and that you are doing your best. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend if they were going through a divorce.
5. It’s All About You:
During a divorce, you may find that you no longer want to do the things that you did while you were married. This may be a good time to try that thing that you always wanted to try like a cooking class, a pottery class or even a glass-blowing class (GroupOn or Gilt!!) This may also be a good time to revisit things that you no longer had time to do like reading (join a book club, they are making a serious comeback!), painting, hiking, or binge-watching a new show. Do YOU, boo!
6. Talk It Out:
Sharing is (Self) Caring. Therapy can be very expensive, but there are alternatives that are far less costly. There are support groups (both online and in-person) to help people cope with divorce. Who better to understand than people who are experiencing the same things and having the same frustrations that you are. Things come up and that is okay. It is always better to deal with the emotions as they come. If you are feeling overwhelmed (which is understandable), you may just need to talk and deal with some of the emotions that you are experiencing.