5 Types of Friends You Need after Divorce
- The empathetic friend who "gets it"
- The fun-loving extrovert
- The problem-solver
- The realist
- The good listener
Divorce is definitely a time to nurture your relationships with your pals. Why? Friendship is not only essential to your emotional health, but it’s also important for your physical health. Some friends have a way of supporting you when you’re at your lowest and reminding you of who you are and your value in the world.
Here are five great types of friends to have after divorce. Maybe you’ll recognize some of your buddies in this list.
The empathic friend who “gets it”
Who understands what you’re going through more than someone who has worn similar shoes?
A friend who has already navigated the terrain of divorce and lived to tell about it can offer you some critical support and guidance right now. They may even be able to steer you in the right direction to get the help you need.
Your empathetic friend also probably knows firsthand that relief and joy are just around the corner. If you know someone who has been through a similar ordeal, now may be your time to connect.
The fun-loving extrovert
The last thing you may want right now is to go out and have fun. But your fun-loving extroverted friend understands that’s exactly what you need.
This energetic friend can pick you up off the floor, get you dressed, load you in the car, and make you indulge in something enjoyable – even if you arrive kicking and screaming. And before you know it, you’ll be laughing in spite of yourself and even admitting that a good night out was just what you needed.
Divorce boggles the mind. These days, you may find it difficult to even put your clothes on so you can get to work. There are so many things you need to think through right now! And thinking about anything else but your despair just doesn’t seem possible.
Fortunately, if you have a problem-solver friend, they can guide you through the nuts and bolts of this process. Their mission is to help you survive unscathed, and they will hold you upright until you can do it on your own.
Maybe you’re feeling betrayed right now. Maybe you want your ex to suffer the way you’re suffering.
Your realist friend will be there to talk you down off the ledge. No, sending an anonymous email to your ex’s boss divulging dirty secrets is not a good idea. And no, you really shouldn’t stalk your ex’s new love interest on social media because it will only make you more unhappy.
In short, your realist friend is there to snap you back into reality. They’ll remind you that it’s not a good idea to do some of the vengeful things you want to do right now. They’ll keep you in check.
The good listener
A good listener is a true-blue friend. They’ll travel the lows and the low-lows right alongside you, and they’ll remind you the whole time that you’re funny and smart and attractive – all the things you need to hear.
This friend listens not just with their ears but also with their heart. They do not judge, nor do they make “helpful suggestions” that tick you off. Instead, they just listen and love and support you through thick and thin.
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Want more friends? Here’s how to find them
Reconnect with existing friends
After divorce, friendships can be a critical lifeline that keeps you engaged, optimistic, and fulfilled in your new single life. What better time than now to reach out to old friends you’ve lost touch with or people you’ve connected with on social media but haven’t had a chance to meet in person?
Have you turned down offers of drinks after work or playing on the office softball team because you felt you needed to be home? Workplace friends give you a lot of things in common and can make work more enjoyable, too.
After divorce, getting involved in a charity can be especially fulfilling. It can help you feel connected to others and valuable as a human being. At a site like Nextdoor.com, you may be able to find a new walking buddy or a book group to help you get more involved in your neighborhood.
Support groups can be invaluable when you’re navigating a difficult divorce. Here, you get the insight and support of people who have gone through or are going through the same thing you are. Note: Look for a group led by someone who can keep the group moving in a positive direction. Many people in support groups can over-identify with their problems and keep the group stuck in victimhood. You want support that makes you feel optimistic and hopeful.
At Hello Divorce, we are dedicated to helping you get through the ordeal of divorce. From access to online divorce plans and professional services to a library of important resources, we are by your side each step of the way. How can we help? Schedule a free 15-minute phone call.