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5 Types of Friends You Need after Divorce

In divorce, the spouse you once considered your best friend may now feel like the enemy. And while you’ve probably had other friendships through the years, your relationship with your spouse may have superseded them. This may lead you to wonder who you can turn to now – and if you even have the energy to work on your relationships with other people.

Divorce is definitely a time to nurture your relationships with your pals. Why? Friendship is not only essential to your emotional health, but it’s also important for your physical health. Some friends have a way of supporting you when you’re at your lowest and reminding you of who you are and your value in the world.

Here are five great types of friends to have after divorce. Maybe you’ll recognize some of your buddies in this list.

The empathic friend who “gets it”

Who understands what you’re going through more than someone who has worn similar shoes? 

A friend who has already navigated the terrain of divorce and lived to tell about it can offer you some critical support and guidance right now. They may even be able to steer you in the right direction to get the help you need.

Your empathetic friend also probably knows firsthand that relief and joy are just around the corner. If you know someone who has been through a similar ordeal, now may be your time to connect.

The fun-loving extrovert

The last thing you may want right now is to go out and have fun. But your fun-loving extroverted friend understands that’s exactly what you need. 

This energetic friend can pick you up off the floor, get you dressed, load you in the car, and make you indulge in something enjoyable – even if you arrive kicking and screaming. And before you know it, you’ll be laughing in spite of yourself and even admitting that a good night out was just what you needed. 

Read: Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type and Divorce

The problem-solver

Divorce boggles the mind. These days, you may find it difficult to even put your clothes on so you can get to work. There are so many things you need to think through right now! And thinking about anything else but your despair just doesn’t seem possible.

Fortunately, if you have a problem-solver friend, they can guide you through the nuts and bolts of this process. Their mission is to help you survive unscathed, and they will hold you upright until you can do it on your own.

Read: Divorce Planning Checklist and Post-Divorce To-Do List

The realist

Maybe you’re feeling betrayed right now. Maybe you want your ex to suffer the way you’re suffering. 

Your realist friend will be there to talk you down off the ledge. No, sending an anonymous email to your ex’s boss divulging dirty secrets is not a good idea. And no, you really shouldn’t stalk your ex’s new love interest on social media because it will only make you more unhappy.

In short, your realist friend is there to snap you back into reality. They’ll remind you that it’s not a good idea to do some of the vengeful things you want to do right now. They’ll keep you in check.

The good listener

A good listener is a true-blue friend. They’ll travel the lows and the low-lows right alongside you, and they’ll remind you the whole time that you’re funny and smart and attractive – all the things you need to hear.

This friend listens not just with their ears but also with their heart. They do not judge, nor do they make “helpful suggestions” that tick you off. Instead, they just listen and love and support you through thick and thin. 

 

Want more friends? Here’s how to find them

Reconnect with existing friends

After divorce, friendships can be a critical lifeline that keeps you engaged, optimistic, and fulfilled in your new single life. What better time than now to reach out to old friends you’ve lost touch with or people you’ve connected with on social media but haven’t had a chance to meet in person? 

Work friends

Have you turned down offers of drinks after work or playing on the office softball team because you felt you needed to be home? Workplace friends give you a lot of things in common and can make work more enjoyable, too. 

New friends

After divorce, getting involved in a charity can be especially fulfilling. It can help you feel connected to others and valuable as a human being. At a site like Nextdoor.com, you may be able to find a new walking buddy or a book group to help you get more involved in your neighborhood. 

Support groups can be invaluable when you’re navigating a difficult divorce. Here, you get the insight and support of people who have gone through or are going through the same thing you are. Note: Look for a group led by someone who can keep the group moving in a positive direction. Many people in support groups can over-identify with their problems and keep the group stuck in victimhood. You want support that makes you feel optimistic and hopeful.

At Hello Divorce, we are dedicated to helping you get through the ordeal of divorce. From access to online divorce plans and professional services to a library of important resources, we are by your side each step of the way. How can we help? Schedule a free 15-minute phone call.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Divorce Content Specialist
Mediation, Divorce Strategy, Divorce Process, Mental Health
Candice is a former paralegal and has spent the last 16 years in the digital landscape, writing website content, blog posts, and articles for the legal industry. Now, at Hello Divorce, she is helping demystify the complex legal and emotional world of divorce. Away from the keyboard, she’s a devoted wife, mom, and grandmother to two awesome granddaughters who are already forces to be reckoned with. Based in Florida, she’s an avid traveler, painter, ceramic artist, and self-avowed bookish nerd.