Finding Love Again at Every Age and Stage in Life
- Finding love after divorce in your 20s and 30s
- Finding love as a single parent
- Finding love in your 40s
- Finding love after 50
- Finding love as an older adult (65+)
- Finding love after divorce
After a divorce, you might find yourself floundering for a bit. Depending on how long you were married, your role as a spouse or romantic partner was likely a large part of your identity. Now, you must create a new identity and find different ways of being in the world.
And, even if you’ve vowed to never marry again, you still deserve to love and be loved.
Finding love after divorce in your 20s or 30s
Wow. Here you are, married and divorced while many of your friends are still single. Your single friends understand something that you can really appreciate now: Being unattached offers you the time to get to know and understand yourself before jumping into another relationship.
Now might be time to hang out casually for a while. Reconnect with yourself and your friends, and do the things you missed out on when you were busy with your marriage. Date for the fun of it, not the relationship of it. Your first relationship is with yourself. Keep that above all others.
Because you’re focusing on yourself right now, do what makes you happy. That's where you’re most likely to meet others with the same vibe. If you do want to try the dating scene, there are plenty of apps out there such as Zoosk, Tinder, and Bumble. Create an awesome profile, put some effort into a great photo, and swipe away. And remember: It doesn’t have to be serious until you’re ready for it to be.
Finding love as a single parent
Love? What’s that? You have work to do, bills to pay, dinner to make, kids to bathe, and homework to oversee. Who has time for love?
Psst ... you do. Because all this responsibility needs to be tempered with self-care, and sometimes, self-care involves some good old-fashioned romance.
But what about the kids? Yes, they will factor into your life and what you do for yourself, and they might even have a thing or two to say about any new relationships you develop. But why not give it a try? In fact, family outings can be some of the best places to find other single parents looking for love.
While you may consider dating apps, you may or may not be interested in online dating. Believe it or not, you will come into contact with plenty of single parents just going about your life. Work, gym, grocery store, kids’ sports, community events, and even single parenting groups. When you’re busy living your best life, love can show up when you least expect it.
Finding love in your 40s
Here you are in that beautiful time of life, your forties. It just may be your most freeing and self-evolved era. You no longer have many illusions about love. You’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly in your marriage, yourself, and others around you ... and you have lived to tell of it. We are resilient mammals, aren’t we?
You frequently look out at a sea of couples and feel like the lone ranger, but if you’re willing to look under the surface, there are lots of other lone rangers in the dating pool. They’re involved with their work. They may not have any desire to do the bar scene on the weekend with kids half their age. They may want to have real conversations about things that matter to them.
Life after divorce presents you with newfound time to pursue things you’re interested in: hobbies, classes, lectures – the same list that, just a few short years ago, you didn’t have time for. The perfect time to find a new partner is when you’re doing things you truly enjoy. Check out your local meetup.com groups, and you’re bound to find something that sparks your interest and maybe even a local singles group.
Finding love after 50
Perhaps being single in your fifties was not the plan, but here you are. The good news is: You’ve done all the hard stuff. You’ve built your career, and you can now reap the rewards. You’ve developed long-term friendships and favor deeper connections over frivolous relationships. Looks become less important than substance. At this stage of your life, you feel more stable and able to focus on the positives than the negatives. You’re not looking for a good parent for your children, and you’re not looking for a provider. You are looking for good company and someone you can enjoy life with.
Just like middle-aged-forty-something single life, meeting people with similar interests will allow you to enjoy life and possibly stumble upon someone else enjoying their life. You have more resources now, and you may want to look for others with philanthropic interests. For example, maybe you always wanted to travel. What better way to meet others than traveling solo or checking out group tours that are especially accommodating for single travelers like Explore, Exodus Travel, or Road Scholar?
Finding love as an older adult (65+)
As we grow older, we find that what we want in life may be far different from what we wanted before. We recognize the value of true companionship as we age. Love melds with friendship, and companionship often becomes more important than sizzling romance, although a combination of the two is a boon. We recognize that our life is mostly behind us, and what we have left is more precious because of it.
The great part about this time of life is that we truly know ourselves and appreciate that life is too short to spend with people who don’t mesh with us. We want honesty. We want humility. We want laughter. Whether that ends up being the great romance of our life or not, it’s an enjoyable way to spend time, and there's a lot to be said for that.
What are you interested in? Join a book club, take classes like tai chi, volunteer, or even consider a “second career.” These are perfect places to develop friendships as well as love interests. If you are more adventurous, many dating apps are now designed around the senior dating world, such as eHarmony for Seniors and OurTime.
Finding love after divorce
Regardless of age, finding love post-divorce can present many stops and starts. At times, you may grieve your old life. At other times, you may find yourself ready to let go and just enjoy the present.
It’s never too late to discover more about yourself, the people around you, and how and who you want to spend time with. Self-knowledge is essential regardless of your age. If you truly rely on it, it can lead you to a happier, healthier life – and maybe a healthy new relationship as well.
What Does Life After Divorce Have in Store for You? Start Your Next Chapter Today.
Suggested reading: Journaling to Cope with Divorce and Other Major Life Transitions