Post-Divorce Resolutions for 2024
Well, 2023 was a hell of a year. And with 2024 around the corner, forget those old, dull resolutions of “lose 10 pounds” or “get my butt to hot yoga.” You already know that extra slice of pizza will be calling to you in the wee hours of the morning and you’ll opt for Netflix over Namaste after a couple of weeks of sweat-induced misery.
Divorce ain’t your normal rodeo, and the old standbys won’t get it this year. It’s time to get down to some real resolutions and – dare we say – post-divorce revolutions to carry you through the new year.
1. Stop settling for crumbs – demand the whole cake!
As a newly married couple, your life was like your wedding cake. It looked awesome on the outside, and it was even still pretty good by that first anniversary’s frozen hunk. But as the years went by, the frosting slid down the side, and those naked morsels and dry crumbs were all that was left of your glorious hopes and dreams – er, cake.
And you settled.
No more! You’ve grown, learned some hard lessons, and downright glowed up. That new cake? It’s all yours!
2. Embrace your inner child
Remember that kid who was going to be the first astronaut to Mars? A brilliant artist? An archeologist digging up bones in Mozambique? Somewhere along the way, between adulting, marriage, responsibilities, and divorce, that awesome kid got left behind.
While embracing your inner child doesn’t give you an excuse to melt down in the cereal aisle, it does give you permission to excavate the things that send your joy-ometer into overdrive. That former wanna-be astronaut could take an astronomy course at the local community college. That brilliant artist could start slinging mud and making crazy, colorful pottery. That archeologist-in-training? Bismarck, North Dakota, here you come!
3. Amp up your social media
Over the past year, you've kept your social situation on the down-low. After all, who wants to broadcast divorce to the world unless they’re looking for some pity – albeit well-deserved?
Loud and clear, 2024 should broadcast, “I’m back, baby.”
Maybe you can look back in hindsight at your dreaded divorce and leverage some hilarity from it. Find communities (and people) who uplift you. Fill your Instagram with happy. And maybe even let your ex see that you’re getting along just fine without them, thank you very much.
4. Rediscover the new and improved you
Remember that salsa class your ex thought was stupid? That solo trip to Vancouver that was immediately labeled “impractical?”
There’s nobody around to rain on your parade anymore. March confidently to your own drum beat, and let the world meet a new, unabridged, unedited version of yourself.
5. Swipe left on those emotional vampires
Seriously, your energy is too precious for this. It’s not like you’re some rechargeable battery. If someone is sucking the sparkle out of your life, let them go. This is a no-negativity zone.
6. Write your own fairytale
You tried living in someone else’s world. You did the whole walk-down-the-aisle, happily-ever-after thing, and you know how that ended.
The pen’s in your hand, so it’s time to write your own happy ending. That could mean buying a condo in the city or just adopting another cat. Whatever that is, write yourself a story that would make Cinderella proud.
7. No more “yours” and “mine” – it’s all yours now!
That garage where they stashed their old VHS tapes, tools, shoes, or whatever took up too much marital space is yours alone now. Isn’t it the perfect place for your new personal gym? Craft table? Golf bag and new skis?
Reclaim the space! No more sharing! Fill up those nooks and crannies with stuff that makes you happy.
8. Redefine your baggage
We all have baggage, and you’re going to be lugging some of that emotional stuff around for a while. You’re only human, after all.
Put away the “I’m okay” pretense, own your vulnerability, and turn that old baggage into some serious designer stuff. Louis Vuitton, anyone?
9. Dial down on the ex-stalking
Yeah, we see you scrolling over there. A quick peek, you say, and two hours later, you’re stalking their boss’s kid’s bar mitzvah uploads to see if your ex brought a date. It’s time for a digital detox, baby.
Unfollow, mute, block, or whatever it takes. Your mental space is prime real estate. Don’t go cluttering it up with stuff you don’t need anymore.
10. Become your own best partner
Don’t wait for that elusive “perfect” person to swoop in and treat you like gold. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others. It’s fine to have fun dating, but at the end of the day, remember that you’re a catch. Don’t invite anyone into your life who doesn’t appreciate that and treat you with the respect you deserve.
Out with the old, in with the new. Consider 2024 your year. Resolve to live the new year roaring louder, laughing harder, and living bolder. At Hello Divorce, we’re here cheering you on!
