What Is a Petition for Conciliation? Is It Available in My State?

• What is a petition for conciliation?
• What does a petition for conciliation involve?
• Is it available in every state?
• Who should file a petition for conciliation?
• How to proceed

A petition for conciliation can be thought of as a legal request that can potentially help divorcing parties avert a court battle (and sometimes avert divorce entirely) by slowing the process down. The parties usually speak with a neutral counselor, helping to initiate healthy dialogue and potentially allow for less hostile negotiations to take place. 

While not an option for all divorcing parties, a petition for conciliation is a good option in states that allow it. Both parties may be less emotional and more willing to talk openly than when the divorce process first began. This can result in a less stressful and easier divorce overall.

What is a petition for conciliation?

A petition for conciliation is a legal request made in the context of a divorce that seeks to pause the divorce proceedings and engage the parties in a form of dispute resolution, often intending to reconcile the couple or at least facilitate more amicable negotiations. It can be thought of as an attempt to decrease the pressure on both parties and seek a less aggressive solution than a divorce battle in court. 

A petition for conciliation cannot be used to force a less hostile resolution, but it can be a useful tool when the dynamic between the parties may have changed enough that reaching a settlement out of court or even completely averting a divorce may be possible. Generally, this solution wasn’t possible earlier in the divorce process.

What does a petition for conciliation involve?

The specifics of how a petition for conciliation works vary by state. Many states have some type of counseling requirement. The state may require that the parties speak with a neutral counselor about the nature of their marital issues and why they sought (and possibly continue to seek) a divorce. 

Part of this counseling is to help the parties initiate a healthy dialogue about their interests and concerns that would otherwise be difficult for them to start on their own.

One of the major reasons people file these petitions is to get a temporary stop (or “stay”) on divorce proceedings, pausing the standard divorce process. This doesn’t mean the divorce can be paused indefinitely. Most states have a set time frame for which this temporary stop can last. However, if both parties decide they no longer want a divorce, they will typically be able to stop the divorce proceedings permanently. 

Used appropriately, a petition for conciliation can completely avert a divorce or help the parties reach a divorce settlement they both view as fair out of court. In either case, this has the potential to save the parties significant time, money, and emotional hardship. 

Is it available in every state?

Not every state allows parties to file a petition for conciliation. You will need to research whether your state allows it and the specifics of the process. 

The availability and details of conciliation services or mandatory counseling during divorce proceedings vary by jurisdiction. Many states require counseling as part of the conciliation process, with at least some offering this counseling at no cost. 

Note that even if a state doesn’t allow for a petition for conciliation, this doesn’t mean the divorce process is unstoppable if both parties want to delay or stop proceedings. It just means the options may be more limited. 

Who should file a petition for conciliation?

There are a few situations in which filing a petition for conciliation is appropriate. These are some of them: 

Desire to remain married

The first reason to use a petition for conciliation is if both parties would like to attempt reconciliation, possibly averting divorce and continuing their marriage. While perhaps uncommon, it isn’t unreasonable for divorcing parties to change their minds and decide to remain married. People often seek divorces during especially emotional times and may decide they want something else as emotions cool.

Slowing the divorce process

It’s reasonable to file a petition for conciliation if you want to slow down the divorce process. For example, you might feel that an out-of-court negotiation would be possible given more time.

This can be a valid strategy in situations where negotiations didn’t seem possible at first, but one or both parties shifted positions and may now be more open to discussing the terms of the divorce. 

Opportunity for improved communication

Similarly, a petition can be filed when there may be room for improved communication. This allows the divorce process to be slowed so the parties can more fully discuss what they want from the divorce process and if any alternative solutions may be available that weren’t viable or considered earlier in the process.

Suggested: Askers vs. Guessers: The Power of Understanding Each Negotiation Style

Promoting a healthier relationship

Many spouses file a petition for conciliation in an attempt to forge a healthier co-parenting relationship. A divorce battle in court can be extremely contentious and make it very difficult for parties to work together down the road. Since both parties often want what’s best for their children, they may decide to slow down the divorce process and try to find a way to co-parent that involves less conflict.

How to proceed

If you think a petition for conciliation may be appropriate in your situation, start a conversation with your ex about it. If you have legal representation, talk with them first to determine the best way to initiate this conversation.  

Read: Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation in a Relationship

References