I am often the first person that people talk to when setting up meetings with their lawyer or when they have a quick non-legal question that I can assist with. While they are always very pleased with their service and credit our lawyers with making a very difficult time easier and bearable, they often still feel overwhelmed, stressed, and drained emotionally.
Divorce can be stressful, emotional, and tricky at times. Your account coordinator, mediator, or lawyer is certainly there to make the process as stress-free as possible, but primarily from a legal standpoint. Divorce is a big transition, which can be difficult to cope with. Finding ways to relieve stress and anxiety can improve this process from an emotional standpoint. Here are some I've seen work well for clients.
1. Treat yourself well
Get a pedicure or a manicure, play a round of golf, get a massage, try that new restaurant, or plan a post-divorce trip. Give yourself permission to indulge without feeling guilty. Sometimes it is the little indulgences here and there that give us the greatest satisfaction.
Protect and nurture both your physical and mental health. Take a break when you need to, manage your stress levels as best you can, and make time to do things for yourself that will help you feel good.
2. Take a deep breath
We all know and have been told that being active can be a great form of release. Exercise has also been proven to release endorphins into your bloodstream helping you to feel happier. Even a brisk walk around the block can help. Gym memberships can be pricey, but Groupon is always offering a good deal on a yoga or kickboxing class.
3. Practice the virtue of patience
During a divorce, or any difficult time, it is easy to find that you are being too hard on yourself. It is important to be patient with yourself and acknowledge that this is a tough time for you. You are doing your best. Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend if they were going through a divorce.
4. Try something new
During a divorce, you may find that you no longer want to do the things that you did while you were married. This may be a good time to try that thing that you always wanted to try like a cooking class, improv, or even a glass-blowing workshop (check Groupon or Yelp for local options).
This may also be a good time to revisit things that you have not had time to do, like meeting up with a friend for happy hour, puzzles, hiking, or binge-watching a new show.
5. Talk it out
Sharing is (self) caring. Therapy can be very expensive, but there are alternatives that are far less costly. There are support groups (both online and in-person) to help people cope with divorce. Who better to understand than people who are experiencing the same things and having the same frustrations that you are. Things come up and that is okay. It is always better to deal with the emotions as they come. If you are feeling overwhelmed (which is understandable), you may just need to talk and deal with some of the emotions that you are experiencing.
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