Think twice before you share ... and you might want to look over your history of social media, too. More than ever, litigants and lawyers are using social media to collect information that they can use as 'evidence' in a family law case. Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, and various dating websites are all popular places to look when in the midst of a messy divorce.
Why are social media posts important in a divorce or other family law action?
Many of us spend a lot of time engaged in some form of social media. Popular actions include sharing a fun photo of a family outing, 'checking in' at an event or interesting location, posting a personal rant, sharing a funny meme, or asking for advice on a specific topic. In divorce cases (and any lawsuit), all these posts and actions can end up in a court of law and be used as evidence against a party, thereby affecting spousal or child support, parental rights, custody, or property division.
How is social media used in divorce?
It's common for clients to present social media evidence to their lawyers. Sometimes it's to try and demonstrate their incompetence as a parent or to prove a point about their financial picture. While many of the posts are not truly representative of the actual circumstances, once presented the burden generally shifts to the 'offending' spouse to prove that they are 'innocent' of the claimed wrongdoing.
Posts as benign as celebrating a promotion or buying a new vehicle can be used against a spouse who claims to not have enough money to meet daily expenses or used as evidence that they have funds to pay additional support or lawyer fees. Sharing photos on a night out (such as drinking with a friend) can be used by a spouse in a child custody action to help 'prove' substance abuse or argue that a spouse chose to party or go out with friends instead of exercising parenting time.
Vacation posts could be interpreted as having a surplus of money or choosing "fun" over kids. Even a selfie posted at home can be used against a spouse who claims to live in a different city. Location or "check-in" posts are often used to undermine a spouse's credibility.
Posts that discuss your state of mind can also be troubling. We've seen divorcing spouses use these posts to try and prove that their ex is unfit or unwell and therefore not safe to parent. We have seen posts where a spouse goes on a rant about their ex and the court expresses concerns about that spouse's judgment or inability to control their impulses.
When courts are making child custody orders one of the things they are looking at is whether or not the parties respect each other enough to co-parent responsibly. If a spouse uses social media to disparage the other, the judge or mandatory custody mediators may worry that the contents of the post could get back to the children or that the spouse is too angry or emotional and may disparage the other parent to or in front of the kids.
Tip: Refrain from using social media (for now)
Warning: Divorcing parties may be ordered to provide existing and deleted(!) social media and networking data. Yes, you heard that right. Case law now provides that in certain circumstances a spouse may have to turn over passwords, usernames, or login information to their past and present social networking sites.
Even if you have not been compelled to provide this data, do not expect that your posts are private even if you have 'unfriended' your spouse and their friends and family. Even if you feel that your close friends are trustworthy. there is almost always someone who has access to your posts who could share with your estranged spouse.
Further, if a mutual friend posts a photo and tags you, you can expect that your spouse or someone close to them will be able to see it and could take notes or print findings ("receipts").
One thing is for sure: If you're going through a divorce, you can be certain your spouse and lawyer (if they hired one) are combing through your online life. Protect yourself and the integrity of your case by staying away from social media accounts or exercising serious discretion and thinking through each post before it becomes public.
For now, you are under the microscope of the court (even if you are trying hard to stay away from litigation). Even if your posts are relatively harmless, they may still be provoking or upsetting to your ex or their friends and family. To the extent you can limit the animosity and ill will between you and your spouse, you will likely have a much smoother uncoupling (which can help to keep your pocketbook and peace of mind intact!)
Frequently Asked Questions
Can my social media posts affect my divorce?
Yes. Posts can be used in court to show finances, lifestyle, parenting behavior, or contradictions in your statements.
What should I avoid posting during or after divorce?
Don’t share negative comments about your ex, details of the case, photos that show big spending, or anything that could be seen as harmful to your children.
Is it okay to post about new relationships?
It’s best to wait until the divorce is final. Posting about dating can create tension, damage co-parenting trust, or affect settlement talks.
Should I change my privacy settings?
Yes. Use private settings, but assume anything can be screenshotted and shared. Always post as if a judge might read it.
Can I share about my children online?
Be cautious. Avoid sharing details that could expose them, break agreements, or trigger conflict with your co-parent.
What are safe things to post during divorce?
Neutral updates, hobbies, inspirational quotes, or wellness-related content. If you’re not sure, don’t post.
Can deleting old posts protect me?
Not necessarily. Deleted content can sometimes be recovered, and removing evidence during litigation could cause problems. Focus on better posting choices moving forward.
How to Use Social Media Wisely During and After Divorce
Review your accounts
Look over your profiles, remove sensitive posts if appropriate, and update privacy settings.
Pause before posting
Think twice. Could this be misread, shared in court, or escalate conflict?
Avoid negative or sensitive topics
Don’t post about your ex, new relationships, money, or legal proceedings.
Keep children’s privacy in mind
Respect agreements and don’t overshare about your kids.
Focus on safe content
Stick to neutral updates, hobbies, or positive, uplifting material.
Monitor engagement
Watch for tags, comments, and what friends or family post. Ask them not to share sensitive information.
Seek guidance if unsure
If you’re uncertain, ask your lawyer or mediator before posting anything connected to your divorce.
