Common Parenting Time Schedules: Which Plan Is Right for You?

• How to choose a schedule
• Common parenting schedules
• How to create a legally binding schedule
• Tips for custody/schedule changes
• How we can help

When it comes to parenting time schedules, the options are as wide as your imagination. From a month on/month off to an every-other-weekend schedule, there are as many schedules as there are days in the year. Which one is best for you and your family?

How to choose a parenting schedule

Choosing the right arrangement for the children and both parents requires careful consideration. Factors such as the children’s age, their needs, and the work and life schedules of both parents come into play. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you make an informed decision.

1. Understand different custody types

• Physical custody determines where the child will live.
• Legal custody involves the right to make important decisions about the child, such as education and medical care.
• Joint custody is when parents share both legal and physical custody (but not always 50/50).
• Sole custody is when one parent has primary physical and/or legal custody, while the other may have limited custody or visitation rights.

Learn more about child custody

2. Your children’s wants and needs

• Age and development: Younger children often benefit from shorter but more frequent visits to maintain strong bonds with both parents, while older children or those with developmental challenges may need a more stable routine.
• School and extracurriculars: Ensure the schedule accommodates the child’s preferred school, activities, and allows them to stay connected to their social support systems.
• Emotional well-being: Consider each child’s temperament and how they handle transitions. If they are mature enough, you may want to ask them their preferences (if you can accommodate at least some anticipated requests).

3. Assess each parent’s availability

• Consider your work schedules
• The parent living closer to the child’s school may handle more of the weekday responsibilities, while the other parent could take weekends or holidays.
• Choose a schedule that allows for changes in case of emergencies or work conflicts.

4. Communicate

Open communication is essential. Discuss each other’s needs and the child’s best interests. Mediation or a parenting coordinator can help if communication is challenging. Things will likely change over time, so communicate when you may need to adjust.

5. Consider holidays and special events

Plan ahead for major holidays, birthdays, and other special occasions. Many parents alternate holidays each year, such as spending Thanksgiving with one parent and Christmas with the other, then switching the following year.

6. Legal support and documentation

It’s important to have the custody and timeshare agreement documented in the divorce decree to ensure clarity and legal enforcement. See below for how to make a formal plan.

For more guidance, resources like the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and state-specific family law guides can provide additional insights and support.

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Common co parenting time schedules

Understanding how parenting time schedules work can help you decide which plan is best for your unique situation. Here, we break down some of the most common parenting time schedules and the pros and cons of each.

The weekend parenting schedule

This type of parenting time schedule is often referred to in movies and the media as "the weekend warrior," and more often than not, the father is depicted as the parent who only swoops in to see his children on the weekends. While movies like to over-dramatize these situations, this parenting time schedule is actually quite common.

How it works: This schedule is commonly chosen when one parent lives in a different town or an extended distance from the children's "home base." That parent exercises their parenting time on the weekends, usually from Friday evening to Sunday evening.

This plan works for every weekend, every other weekend, or a combination of a few weekends per month.

Pros: If one parent lives a town or two away, this plan eliminates some drive time in comparison to a plan with more frequent parenting time exchanges. While the parent who has the weekend parenting time has fewer overnights with the children, all of their parenting time should be presumably unfettered by work or school obligations.

Cons: With this plan, it's easy for each parent to feel like they are missing out on time with their children: the parent who has weekend time can feel like they are missing out on the day-to-day raising of their children (after school, homework, weekday dinners, etc.), while the parent who has the weekday parenting time may feel that they miss out on the fun weekend time with the children – particularly with school-aged children.

Related: What's the Difference Between Legal and Physical Custody?

Week on/week off parenting schedule

Another common parenting time schedule is the week on/week off plan, wherein one parent has the children for seven (7) consecutive days, and the other parent has the children for another seven (7) consecutive days.

How it works: Generally, this type of plan works best when both parents live fairly close to each other and the children's school(s) and activities are centralized. Exchanges can occur on Friday evenings after school to begin the weekend or on Monday mornings at school. However, the options are endless as to the best time to exchange the children depending on what is most beneficial for your family.

Pros: This plan is one of the easiest to plan for – both for the children and parents – as there are limited parenting time exchanges and few variations to the schedule. This is also a truly equal parenting time schedule with each parent having 50% of the time with the children.

Cons: For parents, it can be hard not to see their children for seven (7) consecutive days, particularly when the children are quite young. Likewise, it can be stressful for children not to see a parent for a full week. Video calls can help alleviate this, though.

5/2/2/5 parenting schedule

When parents seek a 50/50 parenting time schedule, they often decide upon a 5/2/2/5 plan which allows for equal parenting time without prolonged time away from the children.

How it works: The most common 5/2/2/5 plan is a schedule where, over the course of two weeks, each parent has two weekdays per week where they always have parenting time and an alternating of the weekends. This results in a plan where, during a two-week period, each parent will have a five-day block and two two-day blocks of parenting time. For instance, Parent A has parenting time every Monday and Tuesday; Parent B has parenting time every Wednesday and Thursday; and weekends alternate every other week. Visually depicted, a two-week schedule could look like this:

Pros: This is a truly equal parenting time schedule that allows each parent to enjoy parenting time during the week as well as parenting time on the weekends. Having "set" parenting time days during the week also allows for easy planning of activities.

Cons: If the parents do not live near each other, the number of parenting time exchanges can be burdensome. It can be a difficult schedule to grasp at first and may not translate well to older children (teenagers) who start having their own work and social schedules.

Related: Checklist: Shared Custody and Visitation

4/3/3/4 parenting schedule

Much like the 5/2/2/5 plan, this type of schedule provides for equal parenting time without prolonged time away from the children.

How it works: The most common 4/3/3/4 plan is a schedule where, over the course of two weeks, each parent has three weekdays per week where they always have parenting time, and they alternate one weekend day. This results in a plan where, during a two-week period, each parent will have a four-day block and two three-day blocks of parenting time. For instance, Parent A has parenting time every Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday; Parent B has parenting time every Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday; and Saturday is alternated every other week.

Visually depicted, a two-week schedule could look like this:

Pros: Similar to the 5/2/2/5 plan, this is a truly equal parenting time schedule that allows each parent to enjoy parenting time during the week as well as parenting time on the weekends. Having set parenting time days during the week also allows for easy planning of activities.

Cons: If the parents do not live near each other, the number of parenting time exchanges can be burdensome. It can also be difficult to split the weekends up. However, the days can be adjusted to fit the needs of the family. As with the 5/2/2/5 schedule, this plan may not translate well to older children (teenagers) who start having their own work and social schedules.

The plans detailed above represent just a few different types of schedules. Many factors can contribute to a parenting schedule. School schedules, work schedules, the age of your children, and where you live in relation to your ex are just a few examples of things to consider. Just know that when you are deciding on which parenting time schedule works best for your family, there is no right or wrong answer.

Legal formalization of custody schedules

Here’s an overview of the process and key considerations when finalizing a legally-bound parenting arrangement:

1. Legal documents

Parenting plan

This document outlines the custody arrangement, visitation schedule, and decision-making responsibilities for the children. It should be clear and detailed to prevent future disputes.

Child custody agreement

If both parents can agree, they should draft a formal custody agreement that is signed and submitted to the court for approval. If they cannot agree, they will need to work toward that via mediation, counseling, or court.

Petition for custody

If you cannot agree on custody, one parent must file a petition in family court to request a formal ruling on custody and visitation.

Financial affidavits

These documents outline each parent’s financial situation and are necessary for determining child support obligations, which often go hand-in-hand with custody decisions.

Child support guidelines worksheet or online tools

Used to calculate child support payments based on the custody arrangement and the financial status of each parent.

2. Court proceedings

The following may be required, depending on your level of agreement and your court’s requirements.

• Filing the petition: The legal process often begins when one parent files a petition for custody or to modify an existing custody order. This triggers the court’s involvement.
• Mediation: In many jurisdictions, courts may require or encourage mediation to resolve custody disputes amicably.
• Custody hearing: If mediation doesn’t work, the case goes to court. Both parents present evidence and arguments about what custody arrangement is in the best interest of the child.
• Parenting evaluation: In contested cases, the court may order a parenting evaluation where a licensed professional assesses both parents' ability to care for the child. The evaluator may meet with the parents, the child, and review their living situations before providing a recommendation to the court.
• Final order: After reviewing the evidence, the court will issue a final custody order. 

Important considerations

• Best interests of the child: The court’s primary focus is the best interests of the child. Factors considered include the child’s age, physical and emotional needs, parenting abilities, and the child’s relationship with each parent.
• Modifications: Custody orders can be modified in the future if circumstances change, such as income changes, moving, and the child’s evolving needs.
• Understanding legal rights: If you aren’t sure, seeking advice or representation from an experienced family law attorney helps parents understand their options, particularly in complex or contested custody cases.
• Preventing disputes: A well-drafted legal agreement minimizes the risk of future disputes between parents. If issues do arise, having a legally sound document makes enforcement easier.

For additional resources, consult organizations such as:

• American Bar Association – Child Custody
• Office of Child Support Services
• Resource Center on Domestic Violence: Child Protection and Custody
• Family court resources by state for specific state requirements (search to get local results)

Tips for transitioning to a new parenting time schedule

Below are key tips to help families navigate custody and parenting timeshare transitions smoothly:

1. Open communication

Communicate honestly with your child about upcoming changes and why they need to happen. Keep an open, respectful dialogue with your co-parent. Discuss the details of the new schedule, logistics, and any concerns to ensure smooth transitions.

Tip: Use tools like parenting apps such as OurFamilyWizard to manage schedules and minimize misunderstandings.

2. Consistency and routine

Children thrive on routine. Try to maintain a consistent daily schedule across both homes, especially when it comes to meal times, bedtimes, and school routines. Build in some flexibility to accommodate emergencies or unexpected events. 

Tip: Create a shared calendar and display it in your home to track activities, school events, and holidays.

3. Provide emotional support

Custody changes can trigger sadness, anger, or anxiety. Encourage your child to express their feelings and listen without judgment. Validate their emotions and provide reassurance. Ensure they know that the schedule change has nothing to do with your love and commitment. Be present during transitions and spend quality time with your child.

Tip: Consider child therapy or counseling if your child is having difficulty adjusting. Professionals can help them navigate the emotions of this change.

4. Minimize conflict

Avoid arguing or expressing negative emotions about the other parent in front of the child. Children are sensitive to parental conflict and may feel caught in the middle. Stay focused on solutions rather than blame when addressing issues. Modeling respectful communication helps children feel secure.

Tip: If tensions are high, use a mediator or counselor to help navigate discussions about schedule changes.

5. Make your home extra-inviting

Make sure your child has a comfortable, personalized space at each home. Familiar items, such as favorite toys, books, or blankets, can help them feel secure. Plan activities or routines that help ease the child’s move between homes. A special ritual, like having the same meal or activity, can help make the change less stressful.

Tip: Give children some control by allowing them to pack a "transition bag" with important items they want to take between homes.

6. Manage your emotions

Going through custody changes is stressful for parents, too. Prioritize your emotional health by seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist. You may feel guilt about the impact of the custody arrangement on your child. Focus on creating a positive co-parenting relationship and trust that children can thrive with two involved parents.

Tip: Join a support group for divorced parents, where you can share experiences and get advice from others in similar situations.

7. Prepare for legal and practical adjustments

Ensure that all changes to custody and timeshare schedules are properly documented in a court-approved parenting plan. If changes in custody affect child support, include the necessary financial adjustments.

Tip: Consult a family law attorney when making substantial changes to the custody agreement.

8. Set realistic expectations

It may take time for children to adjust to new routines and schedules. Be patient, and allow room for mistakes or setbacks along the way. Custody changes can be emotionally charged, but maintaining a child-centered focus will help you work through challenges.

For more information, resources like the American Psychological Association and KidsHealth offer insights into co-parenting strategies and managing child custody transitions effectively.

How Hello Divorce can help

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