5 Questions to Ask Your Potential Divorce Lawyer

If you have made up your mind and there's no alternative but divorce, talking to at least a few lawyers is always a good idea. The first consultation is usually always free, so you've got nothing to lose. But, you can gain a lot of information during attorney interviews if you head into the conversation armed with the right questions.

First, ask yourself: Are you sure you actually need an attorney?

As a divorce attorney for close to two decades, I can attest to how helpful and comforting it can be to have a lawyer at your side who can guide you and advocate on your behalf. But, we lawyers aren't cheap. In California, where I practice, divorce with an attorney on retainer can cost each individual up to $25,000 ... which I think is an insane amount of money, and which is why I created Hello Divorce, a platform that gives smart, savvy individuals like you a breakdown of the divorce process, step-by-step, with links and checklists for all the forms you need to complete, at which step of the process.

At Hello Divorce, you can get all of this info for free through our Divorce Navigator. If you want a little extra help along the way from an experienced attorney for a transparent, flat-rate fee, you can get that, too.

Most states allow individuals to represent themselves in the divorce process, and, it's more common than you might think. In fact, 80% of divorces involve at least one party representing themselves. Lots of people go this route – which means you can, too.

This Hello Divorce article might help you decide whether self-representation is the right option for you: Do I need an attorney?

Questions to ask a potential divorce lawyer

"Describe your approach to the divorce process."

Each lawyer you speak to should have a slightly different answer to this. Sure, the divorce process is the same in terms of paperwork, but your lawyer's approach will differ. This open-ended question will give you some insight into the strategies they might employ to get you to the finish line.

Some lawyers run to court for every little thing in a divorce. If that does or doesn't feel right to you, ask how often they typically find themselves in court during the divorce process. Are you anticipating a heated child custody battle, a big argument over the property, or something else? Ask your lawyer how they've helped clients reach an acceptable outcome when they've worked in similar situations in the past.

This article, This is Why You Need a Strategy for Your Divorce, might also help prepare you for this conversation.

"Tell me about your communication strategy."

How will they check in with you throughout the process? As you're interviewing legal help, the only way you'll know how frequently you'll connect with your representation, and via what medium, is if you ask.

If you're an email junkie and detest interaction by phone (or vice versa), make that clear. If you want regular face-to-face meetings to discuss your case, a video conference, or messaging through a platform that is extra secure, make that clear. Lay out your expectations for communication upfront.

Remember: this is your divorce. You get to be picky about who helps you through it and how often you check in with your legal help.

Find out if your lawyer has staff (preferably a trained paralegal). You can cut down significantly on fees by forming a relationship with team members who bill at a lower hourly rate.

"How will I be able to monitor the status of my case?"

Many lawyers incorporate technology into their practices – which is a good thing for you. It keeps the process more transparent, letting you follow along at each step.

As you interview attorneys, ask if their office uses technology like Clio, MyCase, or other case management software that you can also use to message your attorney, review your filed documents, and track the status of your case. And if you're a big fan of tech like me, you might want to check out these 10+ (nonlegal) essential apps to rely on while uncoupling.

"Where do you think things could potentially go off track?"

This is a good chance to get help thinking ten steps ahead. After you've laid out the path that led you to pursue divorce and shared the outcome you're hoping to achieve, ask the lawyer where they've seen things go off the rails in similar cases. What red flags did your story raise for them? What questions is the lawyer asking you about your situation?

This question is your chance to, 1) make sure they've been hearing you, and 2) get insights that could help keep your divorce process moving along without surprises.

"What are my payment options?"

This question is critical if you're concerned about your financial situation. It will be helpful to know whether there are options, such as monthly payments, payment upfront, or payment at the end. If you're not sure you can afford the lawyer you like, ask about their process of helping clients pay divorce lawyer fees out of the marital estate rather than just out of your pocket.

A lawyer who wants to work with you will help you find a way to afford their services and might offer options – like working more closely with a paralegal during the bulk of the process – to help you keep costs down. For a little inspiration, you can also download my 10 tips to make your divorce easier and less costly.

Taking all of this into account, I want you to remember one thing: this is your divorce. You get to choose who helps you through it. That's why I highly recommend interviewing at least two to three attorneys before selecting one.

Don't let anyone pressure you into working with them, either. This process is going to get harder before it gets easier, so it's important that the lawyer by your side – the lawyer who is going to be learning a lot about the inner workings of your marriage, your finances, and more – is someone you trust, respect, and actually like.


Founder, CEO & Certified Family Law Specialist
Mediation, Divorce Strategy, Divorce Insights, Legal Insights
After over a decade of experience as a Certified Family Law Specialist, Mediator and law firm owner, Erin was fed up with the inefficient and adversarial “divorce corp” industry and set out to transform how consumers navigate divorce - starting with the legal process. By automating the court bureaucracy and integrating expert support along the way, Hello Divorce levels the playing field between spouses so that they can sort things out fairly and avoid missteps. Her access to justice work has been recognized by the legal industry and beyond, with awards and recognition from the likes of Women Founders Network, TechCrunch, Vice, Forbes, American Bar Association and the Pro Bono Leadership award from Congresswoman Barbara Lee. Erin lives in California with her husband and two children, and is famously terrible at board games.