Many couples were forced to stay physically together during the COVID-19 pandemic, whether they liked it or not. But once vaccines became readily available and cases declined and weakened, divorces and separations resumed.
Cohabitating couples spent so much time together in quarantine that if they did not work out their preexisting relationship issues, their conflicts were amplified. Many saw their pre-COVID problems reach a breaking point. Not surprisingly, by the spring of 2022, experts reported a significant increase in divorces and single parenting.
Approximately 70% of divorces are filed by women and only after their marriage was on the rocks for years. While COVID itself was probably never the sole cause of divorce, it certainly sped up the decision on the path to Splitsville. After all, it helped many realize they did not want to even have to spend the next half-decade in toxic hell.
But in some ways, getting a divorce amid and even after COVID was more challenging.
How COVID made divorce harder
- Many courthouses ceased operations for days, weeks, and/or months.
- While many courts implemented online hearings, furloughed employees and an otherwise reduced workforce have radically delayed hearings on divorce-related issues.
- Because of the massive backlogs, some courts still have increased delays in processing things like requests for child support, alimony, or parenting orders in light of the havoc the virus has had on our economy, educational system, and our mental health.
Reading through all of these points likely led you to the conclusion: Divorce is a lot harder post-pandemic. Right?
Wrong. COVID made it clear that online divorce is not only possible but preferable and accessible to all couples who want to go that route. For (ex) couples that are willing to work together to stay out of court, they are completing their divorce in record time – affording them the opportunity to begin the healing process much earlier and move on with their lives, not to mention save money.
How COVID made divorce easier and less expensive
Prior to COVID, you had to jump through a ton of procedural hoops just to get your divorce going. Each and every obstacle brought with it the possibility of conflict. And with conflict comes expense and delay. Temporary changes to existing laws as a result of social distancing guidelines have suspended many of these unnecessary roadblocks.
One of our clients, Bella M., serves as a perfect example. On unemployment after the restaurant she bartended at closed down, she wanted to divorce on a budget. She chose DIY Divorce so she would have access to our all-in-one web application, the Divorce Navigator, to complete her paperwork and follow the interactive checklist to handle the procedural stuff on her own. With (new) COVID guidelines in place, she got to skip the stuff that would have ordinarily prevented her from moving her divorce forward:
"My local courthouse is now allowing forms to be e-filed which wasn't an option before. Instead of having to borrow a friends car to drive 50 miles to the county courthouse, I filed everything online. Allowing e-signatures instead of originals meant my ex and I could finish up everything without having to meet up in person." – Bella M., former Hello Divorce client
Bella's divorce was in a California county but Colorado consumers report similar stories.
"There‚'s no way I could have gotten my ex to a notary to sign a waiver of service – but my court suspended that requirement so all he had to do was e-sign for the divorce petition and we were good to proceed. I thought it would take months to get a final hearing but our settlement agreement was approved without having to go to the courthouse." - Anonymous former Hello Divorce client
What if my spouse and I can't agree on everything?
Not everyone can settle their disputes on their own. But even spouses who have needed some extra help along the way have been able to keep the divorce process going.
In Alameda County (SF Bay Area) there is a judge who is conducting online and informal settlement conferences to help parties resolve their differences. And despite the law being historically behind the tech times, many private mediators have stepped up their game, offering online mediation instead of a trip to a downtown office building.
Another one of our clients reported, "Honestly, I felt much more comfortable talking about hard stuff while being in my own living room. Just having my own coffee in my own mug and my dog next to me on the couch totally helped me keep my cool throughout negotiations."
There is no doubt that COVID upended our lives and has caused major filing delays. And for those using lawyers for their divorce, there's a whole host of challenges that go far beyond scheduling delays.
But, if there's one big silver lining in all this, (ex) couples that are consciously uncoupling can really get divorced from their couch and within a reasonable time – usually before (or right around) when the mandatory divorce state waiting period (when applicable) lapses.
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