Who Can Help with My Divorce?

- Divorce mediator
- Certified divorce financial analyst
- Divorce attorney
- Legal coach
- Therapist or counselor
- Hello Divorce team
- Divorce coach
- Child and family investigator
- State-specific providers
- Recommended reading
Divorce is a major life shift—and while DIY divorce puts you in control, it doesn’t mean you should go it alone. The truth is, there are several experts who can help along the way, depending on your needs. This guide will help you figure out who to bring in and when. Most of these pros are available directly through Hello Divorce, and many offer affordable, on-demand support.
Here’s a breakdown of the key experts who can support you during and after divorce. They can help you make informed decisions, avoid costly mistakes, and handle issues that come up even after the paperwork is done.
💡 Tip: If you know you'll need some expert help and you and your spouse are willing to work on at least some steps together, our Plus plan includes 5 hours of expert services, in whatever 1-hour blocks you need.
Divorce mediator
Before a divorce can be finalized, spouses must agree on key issues in a marital settlement agreement - who keeps the home, how to divide debts, custody arrangements, support, and more.
Most divorces involve at least some conflict. And when things get tense, the last thing you want is to jump straight into litigation. It’s expensive, time-consuming, and puts decisions in the hands of the court—not you.
A divorce mediator helps resolve conflict and guide productive conversations so you can reach fair agreements. They’re trained in negotiation and work with both spouses—either together or separately—to find solutions that work for everyone involved.
Mediation is usually faster and more affordable than fighting it out in court. You can book a Hello Divorce mediator by the hour, by phone or Zoom here.
Certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA)
A CDFA is a financial analyst well-versed in taxes, asset distribution, and short- and long-term financial planning. Their goal: to help divorcing spouses make smart financial decisions and reach fair settlements.
A CDFA can work with you one-on-one or serve as a neutral between you and your spouse. They can break down complex assets (like stock options or retirement accounts), help prep your financial disclosures, run support scenarios, and build a realistic post-divorce budget.
We get it—money is one of the biggest stressors in divorce. That’s why Hello Divorce offers flat-rate CDFA sessions as part of our a la carte services. Whether you're overwhelmed by disclosure forms or just need a clearer financial picture to make informed choices, a CDFA can help.
Learn more about how a financial analyst or advisor can help here. You can also book a session with a CDFA at this link.
Divorce attorney or legal coach
If your divorce is complicated or you cannot agree with your spouse on divorce terms, you might need a lawyer's help. A family law attorney can explain your rights and your state's divorce laws and requirements. You could hire a divorce lawyer to represent you, or you could book an attorney at Hello Divorce to provide you with legal coaching.
Hiring a divorce attorney
An attorney will advocate for your wants and needs and help you reach a final agreement either in or out of court. You and your attorney can opt for a "collaborative practice" if you and your spouse agree ahead of time to settle without a trial.
We have a list of questions to ask your potential divorce attorney to help you prepare. It's especially important to determine things like if your lawyer is open to working with a mediator. The biggest downside of using an attorney is cost. On average, spouses who use lawyers will pay $15,000 (no kids) or $20,000+ (if you have kids). Lawyers are also usually more focused on “winning the case” than helping you sort out your life in a way that feels efficient and fair. Fees, conflict, and time can get out of control pretty fast.
Before you put down a retainer fee with a divorce lawyer, we recommend meeting with more than one attorney so you find a good fit for your needs.
Working with a legal coach
A legal coach helps you negotiate, strategize, and understand your rights and responsibilities. They can also review your final paperwork (Step 3 of the divorce process) to ensure that everything is squared away. At Hello Divorce, we offer flat-rate one-on-one sessions with an attorney to help you get the advice and planning help you need. You can meet with your legal coach via phone call, video conferencing, or email.
If you need legal advice or coaching but don't want or need a lawyer with an expensive retainer fee, we urge you to consider legal coaching. Working with a legal coach almost always costs far less than working with a divorce lawyer because there is no retainer fee. and you use your purchased time to get only the support you need.
Need an attorney but can’t afford one?
If you need legal advice but can't afford a lawyer, call your local legal aid office. Based on your eligibility, this office may be able to link you with the supportive services you need.
If you are not eligible for legal aid, you may be able to find an attorney who will help you for free, or "pro bono." Contact your state bar association to find lawyers who offer pro bono or discounted services in your area. Some courthouses offer free or deeply discounted services to help you complete paperwork and other tasks required for a divorce.
Therapist or counselor
A therapist or counselor can help you work through issues related to your divorce, either individually or with your spouse. Many couples go to couples counseling, sometimes called discernment counseling, to determine whether their marriage can be saved. They might also work with a mental health therapist to fix communication problems, resolve co-parenting issues, or address other interpersonal conflicts that are holding them back.
Individual therapy can help you work through difficult emotions like grief and anger as you deal with divorce. A therapist can give you ideas and tools that help you move forward and find peace whether you are preparing for divorce, going through a divorce, or recovering from your divorce.
You may also want to join an emotional support group as you move through this big life change. Some support groups meet in person; others meet virtually. Meetings give you a chance to connect with others going through the same situations. It's a good way to feel validated and even make new friends.
Hello Divorce client services team
Hello Divorce helps you get lawyer results without the lawyer costs. Share your needs, concerns, and goals with us. We can help you find a divorce plan that promotes a peaceful outcome, gives you control, and saves you thousands of dollars.
Our clients have caring Forms Specialist dedicated to their cases. If you partner with us, your account coordinator will support you along the way by helping you through each requirement, answering your questions and providing helpful resources.
Schedule a free 15-minute call with a member of our team to learn more.
Divorce coach
Wish you had someone in your corner to guide you through this mess? That’s what a divorce coach does. They offer emotional support, help with decision-making, and walk you through logistics—step by step.
A coach can be especially helpful if:
- You’re stuck deciding whether to stay or go
- You’re not sure where to start or what comes next
- You’re overwhelmed by negotiation or the legal process
- You’re struggling to stay focused or advocate for yourself
Hello Divorce offers one-on-one divorce coaching sessions in blocks of one hour or five hours.
Retirement/QDRO specialist
If your divorce involves a retirement plan like a 401(k) or pension, you’ll likely need a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) to divide it. Without a QDRO, the account can’t be split—even if your divorce judgment says otherwise.
A QDRO is a court-approved order that tells the plan administrator how to divide the retirement account. It’s a technical document that needs to follow both federal law and the plan’s specific rules.
You’ve got options:
- Use a QDRO lawyer – We can connect you with a vetted attorney who will draft and file your QDRO for a flat fee.
- Try Simple QDRO – If your situation is straightforward and you're comfortable DIY-ing with guidance, we offer a step-by-step option you can complete on your own (with support if needed).
Child and family investigator (CFI)
Sometimes called a child custody counselor or child custody evaluator. A court-appointed expert investigates and writes a report to the judge as to the children’s best interests in a controversial divorce or custody case. However, a better out-of-court option is to use a co-parenting counselor to help manage expectations, adjust to life in separate households, etc.
Friends
Perhaps it's obvious, but don’t forget your friends, family, and other personal helpers – including your pet(s)! Don’t be afraid to reach out to loved ones when you need to talk, cry, laugh, or get some advice. You might also want your bestie to throw you a divorce party to kick off your new single life.
However, be careful about the advice you’re likely to get even when you don’t ask for it. Only you truly know all the details. Trust your instincts and take what they say with a grain of salt. Divorce is different for everyone, even that friend who claims she has “been there.” Remember: you’ve got this – but you don’t have to go it alone.
Read: What Is a Divorce Registry, and Why Should I Create One?
State-specific providers to know about
Family law facilitator (California)
This person provides a free service in California, though it's difficult to get time with one. A California family law facilitator is a lawyer who helps those without lawyers with their legal court paperwork.
Note: Although they are a lawyer, this person cannot give legal advice.
Family court facilitator (Colorado)
In Colorado, this person is the one who runs initial status conferences. They will help you understand what to do next as you move through your divorce process. Note that this person cannot give legal advice.
Did you know? Hello Divorce offers private judge services in the state of California. Choose your divorce date and skip the long wait. Read more here.
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Have Questions About Divorce? Don't Know Where to Start?
Other recommended readings
Before you jump headlong into divorce, it helps to understand where you're jumping. In addition to the articles we've linked to in the text above, here are 10 helpful resources the team at Hello Divorce thinks would be helpful:
- Divorce Process Flowchart
- What Are Grounds for Divorce
- How to Find a Good Process Server
- Why Most People Should Consider Filing a Response, Even in an Amicable Divorce
- 6 Steps to Take Before You Begin Divorce Mediation
- How to Work with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
- How to File an Uncontested Divorce Without a Lawyer
- Webinar: How Emotional Support Groups Can Help You with Divorce
- How to Write a Postnuptial Agreement with or without a Lawyer
- Guide to Presenting Evidence in Family Court