- What is a trial separation?
- How to get a trial separation
- What is a legal separation?
- How to get a legal separation
- What is permanent separation?
- How Hello Divorce can help
- FAQ
- How to Separate Before Divorce
Getting a divorce is a big decision. Even if you know it's the right choice, you may start second-guessing yourself. In a situation like this, you might choose to explore the types of separations you could try before officially changing your marital status.
What is a trial separation?
A trial separation is an agreement between two people in a relationship to spend time apart. During this time, they may explore their own needs and desires without pressure from the other person.
How to get a trial separation
No legal process is required for a trial separation. You and your spouse simply agree to try living apart from one another. For a trial separation to be effective, however, you may want to make sure you cut ties as much as possible so both you and your spouse can live as separate individuals.
Issues regarding the marital home
The first step when considering separation is deciding who will move out of the marital home. This decision should be made with care, as it has far-reaching implications for both parties due to the legal and financial responsibilities associated with owning property. If children are involved, other factors – such as custody and visitation – must also be considered.
Parenting
To make sure your trial separation is an effective test of your marriage, it's important to establish ground rules during this period of time. When it comes to splitting childcare duties, communication between parents is key. Establish clear expectations regarding which parent will be responsible for various child-related activities in order to prevent misunderstandings down the road.
Finances
Significant financial decisions must be made during this time period, especially if one party moves out of the shared residence. You want to make sure all financial obligations are still met. This may entail setting up separate bank accounts, credit cards, and other types of loan accounts. Doing so may help prevent future confusion regarding who is responsible for debts and who has rights to marital assets in the event of a divorce.
What is a legal separation?
Legal separation involves a formal agreement that outlines the rights and responsibilities of spouses who wish to live separately but remain married. A legal separation agreement can dictate matters of alimony, child support, and division of assets. Depending on the state you live in, you may also be able to file for temporary orders regarding custody and visitation of children while your case is pending.
It should be noted that not all states recognize legal separation. If you are considering this option, it’s important to check your local laws first. In states where legal separation is not allowed, you can still separate from your spouse, but your separated status won't receive any legal recognition.
How to get a legal separation
If you reside in a state that grants legal separations, the process begins with the filing of paperwork with your local court system. This paperwork includes various forms regarding finances and marital property division as well as any other relevant issues such as custody or visitation arrangements for minor children. Once these forms are filed with the court, they must be served appropriately on your spouse before being officially entered into the records.
Once you've filed the paperwork, you'll need to begin the process of actually separating from your spouse. This may include getting a new apartment, new bank accounts, and possibly even a new car. While you can agree to share certain expenses, especially if one spouse is staying in the marital home, these decisions should still be written in a formal agreement so you can hold each other accountable.
Which states allow legal separation? Click here to find out.
Transitioning from legal separation to divorce
The process of transitioning from legal separation to divorce varies from state to state, so it’s important to check your state's divorce laws before proceeding in this direction. If you have been legally separated for a period of time (each state has its own timeline), transitioning to divorce proceedings may simply involve updating your existing paperwork with additional documentation. For example, to obtain your divorce decree, you may need to prove that you have been living separately for a certain amount of time or that reconciliation efforts have been unsuccessful.
In some states, however, a legal separation cannot be converted to a divorce. In this situation, you would likely have to start the divorce process from the beginning in order to get the dissolution of marriage you seek. Among other things, this may require the payment of a new filing fee.
What is permanent separation?
Key differences exist between permanent separation and both legal separation and divorce. In a permanent separation, both parties agree the marriage is over and that they intend to live separate lives. And yet, they agree not to formalize their status via divorce proceedings. Why? For many couples, this is an acceptable alternative when religious beliefs prohibit them from getting a divorce. There may be other reasons for a permanent separation as well, such as the desire to continue sharing health care benefits via a health insurance policy.
To be effective, a permanent separation should have the same documents in place as a legal separation, including a separation agreement. This is similar to a marital settlement agreement in divorce, and it lays out the legal rights and responsibilities of each party. It's vital that your permanent separation have a separation agreement so you and your spouse understand the terms of the separation.
Can Hello Divorce help with my separation?
We offer cost-effective online divorce plans as well as hourly blocks of flat-rate legal advice to guide you through your separation or divorce. If you need to negotiate the terms of your separation, we can also help you find the right mediator.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to be legally separated before filing for divorce?
In most states, no. Some states recognize legal separation as an option, but many do not require or even offer it. You can often live separately without a legal process while preparing for divorce.
What is the difference between separation and divorce?
Separation means spouses live apart, with or without a written agreement. Divorce legally ends the marriage, allowing both spouses to remarry.
Why separate before divorce?
Separation can give you time to decide if divorce is right, reduce conflict, protect finances, and create temporary parenting or support arrangements.
How do I protect myself financially during separation?
Track your income and expenses, open your own accounts if needed, and clarify who pays which bills. Keep records of all financial activity during separation.
Should we write a separation agreement?
Yes. A written agreement can outline temporary arrangements for property, debt, parenting time, child support, and spousal support. This can prevent misunderstandings and reduce conflict.
What if we have children?
You may need a temporary parenting plan and support arrangement. Courts often require a parenting plan if you later file for divorce.
Does separation affect property division later?
In many states, property acquired after separation may not be treated as marital property. The rules differ by state, so check local laws or ask a lawyer.
Can we reconcile after separation?
Yes. Separation gives you space to reassess the marriage. You can reconcile at any time, or move forward with divorce if that is best.
Do I need a lawyer to separate?
Not always. Many couples handle separation on their own or through mediation. A lawyer may be helpful if you have complex assets or conflict.
How long should a separation last?
It depends on your needs and state law. Some couples separate for a few months, others for years. If your state requires a separation period before divorce, follow that timeline.
How to Separate Before Divorce
Clarify your goals
Think about what you want from separation—space, clarity, financial safeguards, or a transition into divorce.
Establish separate living arrangements
Decide who will remain in the marital home and where the other spouse will live. Plan temporary schedules for children if needed.
Protect finances
Open separate accounts, track income and expenses, and agree on bill payments. Keep receipts and documentation.
Draft a separation agreement
Put temporary arrangements in writing for property, debt, support, and parenting. Sign and notarize if possible.
Address parenting and support
Set a consistent routine for children, outline parenting time, and discuss support obligations.
Communicate boundaries
Agree on respectful communication methods, visitation guidelines, and decision-making processes.
Seek professional support
Consider mediation, counseling, or limited legal advice to help resolve disputes.
Plan for next steps
Review your arrangements regularly and decide if separation remains temporary or should move toward divorce.
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