Every month, I offer a workshop to women in my community who are either contemplating divorce or in the early stages of divorce. On the second Saturday of each month, we invite a therapist and a family law attorney to discuss various dynamics of divorce: emotional, legal, and financial. We cover a lot of basics. Most interesting is the fact that many attendees don't even think to involve a financial planner in the early stages of their divorce ... but that is exactly when they should be involved.
A well-trained divorce financial planner can help you understand the value and tax pitfalls of your marital estate. They can help propose or analyze settlement options, assist in completing your mandatory financial disclosure, and accurately estimate child and spousal support.
When your divorce finalizes, your divorce financial planner can also make sure your settlement is optimized to put you in the best position to thrive.
Many people feel intimidated about leaving their current marital situation, even when they know it's unhealthy. Why? Often, they just don't know how to plan for the transition.
In an emotionally charged time of uncertainty, a divorce financial planner will advocate for you, provide a transition plan, and help you follow it.
What a divorce financial planner helps you do
As a divorce financial planner, my job is to help you plan for three distinct phases of the divorce process.
Phase 1: Preparing to separate
Preparing to separate takes intentional emotional and financial planning.
Emotionally, you are transitioning from part of a marital unit to independence. This entails living on your own, organizing your own budget, and spending your time in new ways. In many cases, a therapist can be a helpful and objective third party to assist with the emotional transition.
Financially, your data gathering needs to start here. You need easy access to all financial statements, online access to accounts, tax returns, pay stubs, employee benefits plans, stock option and RSU plans, and so on. I advise collecting this documentation as a first step. The reason is that in divorce, things tend to go "missing" very quickly. You want to be proactive about your preparation – not reactive.
Before you separate, use joint funds to repair or buy your automobile, pay off bills, or repair your home. Begin your divorce with joint expenses already paid rather than arguing about who should pay them later. Cancel all joint credit cards. You don't want to be liable for charges your ex puts on the cards since debt is community property as well.
Phase 2: Preparing to divorce
During this phase, a divorce financial planner's job is to analyze. Once you separate and decide to move forward with a divorce, you must begin the process by filing initial paperwork. (Hello Divorce helps you with that.) Then, you must disclose to each other what your income and expenses are as well as your assets and debts. Since you have already done all of your data gathering, it's now time to analyze which assets to keep and what your support options are, if any.
Your divorce financial planner can help you make sense of all the assets you own. More importantly, they can help you understand how they can facilitate your transition through divorce and beyond.
Common questions we address are:
- Should the home be sold?
- Does it make sense to buy out my spouse or let them buy me out?
- Should you be positioning for real estate, retirement, or pension assets if you need cash now?
- What are the true values of RSUs and stock options, and how can they be divided fairly?
Your tax returns and paystubs are important items to analyze when it comes to child and spousal support. I like to take an educational approach with clients and collaborate with them because, for some people, this is the first time they've even looked at such documents in detail.
Divorce is a cash-intensive process. Once you separate, if you are working, open a separate account. Divert your paycheck to that account. Make sure you have access to other forms of cash as well (i.e., bank or brokerage accounts, credit cards, home equity line of credit, or 401(k) loans).
Phase 3: Life after divorce
Once your divorce finalizes, it's time to put yourself first. You want to thrive in your next chapter. Your financial disclosures are now a planning tool that, with the help of your financial advisor, will help you do just that.
Many people haven't set goals or don't know where to start, so we work on them together. It may be retirement, a new home, a large move, a career change, travel, or caring for elderly parents. Whatever it is, the portion of the marital estate you end up with defines your ability to fund these goals.
The goal-setting process is an important time to ask yourself some overarching philosophical questions. Many of us struggle to form an identity after marriage because it's been all about our spouse and children.
Advice: I am giving you permission to start taking care of you. What do you want your life to look like? How do you want to spend your time? What inspires you? How can your money and resources help you live the life you want to live?
We implement your financial plan based on your answers to these questions. This includes updating beneficiaries on your accounts, tax planning, retirement planning, analyzing stock options, and updating your estate plan.
If you're feeling lost and alone right now, know that there is hope. I am here to help facilitate and inspire an otherwise less-than-desirable situation, and Hello Divorce is full of articles and resources to help show you the way.
It was Socrates who said, "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on fighting the old but building the new." With the right help and planning, the "new" will be easier to build than you think.
FAQ
What does a divorce financial planner do?
They build realistic forecasts for cash flow, taxes, and net worth; inventory and value assets and debts; and compare settlement options so you can see tradeoffs before you commit.
Is a divorce financial planner the same as a CDFA or CFP?
Many divorce specialists hold the CDFA credential, and some are also CFP® professionals. Credentials help, but ask about experience with cases like yours.
When should I hire one?
As early as possible. You’ll get clearer guidance on the house, retirement, support ranges, and taxes before negotiations harden.
How do they work with my mediator or lawyer?
They supply exhibits and scenario reports that your mediator or attorney can translate into precise settlement language and court orders.
What documents will they need from me?
Tax returns, pay stubs, bank and investment statements, retirement and pension details, debt and mortgage statements, insurance info, and a current budget.
Can they help with the house decision?
Yes. They compare sell vs. buyout, refinance feasibility, cash needs for repairs, and long-term affordability after support and taxes.
Do they draft QDROs?
Usually no. They model the split and coordinate with QDRO professionals so the order matches plan rules and your agreement.
Can they manage investments during the case?
Sometimes. If you want advice, confirm they’re fiduciaries and how they’re paid (fee-only vs. commissions).
How much does it cost?
Fees vary. Many offer flat-fee analysis packages or hourly consults. Ask for a scope letter with deliverables and timelines.
Will a planner replace my lawyer or mediator?
No. They complement legal and mediation work by making the numbers clear and decision-ready.
What if I have a business or stock compensation?
They can coordinate with CPAs and valuation experts to handle business interests, RSUs/ISOs/ESPPs, and tax timing so nothing is overlooked.
Is my data secure?
Ask about encrypted portals, retention policies, and who can access your information—especially if analyses will be shared in mediation or court.
How to Get the Most from a Divorce Financial Planner
Define goals and guardrails.
Write down your priorities for housing, kids’ stability, debt payoff, retirement, and the support ranges you can live with.
Map your full financial picture.
Gather income, assets, debts, insurance, and benefits. Flag complex items like a business, stock options/RSUs, or rentals.
Model settlement scenarios.
Compare asset divisions, support structures, and house options with 1-, 3-, and 10-year projections so you see the ripple effects.
Account for taxes and timing.
Estimate how support, asset sales, retirement divisions, and equity compensation will affect take-home pay and cash needs.
Plan retirement and QDRO steps.
Decide how to split 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions, who drafts any QDROs, and by when.
Pressure-test affordability.
Stress test your plan for rate hikes, income changes, healthcare costs, and market swings to avoid fragile agreements.
Coordinate with legal and mediation.
Share clean exhibits—asset/debt lists, cash-flow models, tax notes—so your team can convert them into enforceable orders.
Create a 90-day post-judgment plan.
List tasks for re-titling accounts, updating beneficiaries and insurance, adjusting tax withholding, and setting a first-year spending plan.
Friendly note: Laws and tax rules differ by state and plan. A brief check with a local attorney and, if needed, a QDRO specialist helps ensure the numbers you agree to become orders that actually work.
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