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Benefits and Limitations of Marriage Counseling

Whenever two people from different backgrounds come together to try to create marital harmony, there are bound to be some bumps in the road. It’s because of these bumps that marriage counseling exists. 

Marriage counseling can be helpful, but it has its limitations. Let’s take a look. 

What are the goals of marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling is designed to help married couples better understand each other so they can improve their relationship, grow together, and resolve conflicts harmoniously. 

If you and your spouse have decided to pursue marriage counseling, you’ll attend a series of sessions with a professional therapist. These sessions provide a safe and neutral space to explore your issues, understand each other’s perspectives, and develop more effective communication and problem-solving skills

Whether you’re constantly arguing, have specific challenges to overcome, or are simply feeling distant from each other, marriage counseling may be able to help you navigate these challenges and work toward a healthier and happier marriage. 

What happens in a typical marriage counseling session?

A “typical” counseling session will depend on what issues you’re addressing and the therapist you’re meeting with. In most cases, your therapist will first ask you about your history as a couple, the challenges you’re facing, and what you hope to gain from your time together. 

This background exploration allows them to understand the dynamics of your relationship and formulate ways to structure your counseling sessions so you can get the most out of them. Each session will typically be a new step toward understanding each other better and bringing you closer together.

What are the benefits of marriage counseling?

Marriage counseling allows you and your spouse the dedicated time and space to work through your issues with a trained professional in a safe and non-judgmental way. 

As a neutral third party, a licensed therapist can provide you with tools and strategies to help both of you express your thoughts, feelings, and needs more effectively. They can help you better understand your relationship patterns, offer ideas to help break your negative cycles and give you tools to establish healthier ways to meet your own and each other’s needs. 

Even if therapy can’t fix what is broken in your relationship, it can minimize conflict so you can go your separate ways more peacefully and respectfully. 

How do we find a counselor we both like?

Finding someone you both resonate with and trust is key. The most effective therapist is one that both of you feel comfortable with. 

Decide what you’re looking for. Are you looking for someone who seems emotionally tuned or matter-of-fact? Therapists are humans, too, and they have their own personalities and therapy delivery styles. 

You might begin by getting personal recommendations from friends or your family doctor. You’ll also want to check credentials and read online reviews. Many therapists offer an initial consultation that allows you to weigh whether they’re a good fit. You may have to try a few sessions with different therapists to find one who works for both of you.

Read: Questions to Ask Your Potential Marriage Counselor

What are the limitations of marriage counseling?

When it comes to marital harmony, there’s no magic bullet. It’s just hard work.

If both spouses aren’t willing to communicate thoughtfully and actively participate in the process, chances are that the best therapist in town won’t fix what’s wrong with the relationship. Marriage counseling will only be effective if both people are willing to put in the time, effort, and commitment to make it work. 

Furthermore, if you’re dealing with other issues like substance abuse, domestic violence, or mental health issues, you might need additional help from other sources to support your marriage counseling. 

FAQ about marriage counseling

What is the difference between marriage counseling and couples therapy?

The two terms are often used interchangeably, and they often share the same goals. But typically, marriage counseling focuses on the present instead of the past, helping couples strengthen their relationship through conflict resolution and better communication skills. Couples therapy often delves deeper into the past and root psychological causes. 

The terminology can even depend on what the therapist prefers and the type of therapeutic approach they use. 

Can marriage counseling help us decide whether to divorce?

Just like marriage, divorce is a huge decision. Marriage counseling can help you understand your conflicts and explore your options, especially if you and your spouse are contemplating divorce. Your therapist can help guide you through the process so you can go your separate ways respectfully.

How long should we plan to be in counseling?

Marriage counseling typically lasts from 12 to 20 sessions. That said, it depends on the issues you’re trying to work through and the level of cooperation and commitment each of you brings to the table. Your therapist may be able to give you a better estimate of what you can expect based on your situation. 

The decision to seek a marriage counselor is a personal one, but it shows that you value your relationship and are willing to work on it. Getting outside help can be an invaluable tool and may just help save your most important relationship – your marriage. 

At Hello Divorce, we’re here to support you through the complicated terrain of marriage or divorce. We offer resources, professional services, support groups, and affordable online divorce plans to lighten your load and help you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Schedule a free call to speak with a caring account coordinator.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Divorce Content Specialist
Mediation, Divorce Strategy, Divorce Process, Mental Health
Candice is a former paralegal and has spent the last 16 years in the digital landscape, writing website content, blog posts, and articles for the legal industry. Now, at Hello Divorce, she is helping demystify the complex legal and emotional world of divorce. Away from the keyboard, she’s a devoted wife, mom, and grandmother to two awesome granddaughters who are already forces to be reckoned with. Based in Florida, she’s an avid traveler, painter, ceramic artist, and self-avowed bookish nerd.