You've probably heard the phrase "forgive and forget" many times, and it's probably made you roll your eyes concerning your ex. After all, how can you forget all the pain and frustration they put you through? Truth is, you probably won't forget, at least for a long time. But luckily, you can forgive – and the sooner, the better.
Forgiveness instantly gives you power: the power to heal, give and receive love, and attract more of what you want in your life.
Let's take a look at six ways forgiving your ex will give you the upper hand.
1. It will make you healthier
The simplest way to improve health overall might just be letting go of resentments. Johns Hopkins Medicine reports that forgiveness has a slew of benefits, including reducing the risk of cardiac issues, helping lower cholesterol, improving sleep quality, and reducing anxiety and symptoms of depression.
2. Your kids will see you in a more positive light
While your kids might act amused by it, no one benefits from being around someone who is bitter and negative toward other people – especially someone they love. Set a good example for your children by working toward avoiding negative talk about or toward your ex. It's one small way you can lower their stress and make it easier to get the most out of both their parent relationships. Happier kids mean better quality time when they're with you.
3. You'll be more open to new love.
Just like your kids (and pretty much anyone you have a healthy relationship with) don't appreciate ex-bashing, imagine the nightmare date of going out with someone who can't stop criticizing their ex. You'd probably assume that if you begin a relationship, one day you'll be the subject of their annoyance. Or, you'd feel they must not be over their ex to talk about them so much. Don't be that bad date. Conquering negativity toward your ex is the first step toward being ready to meet someone you're psyched to be with.
4. You'll have more time and energy for better things
Being angry and complaining is exhausting. It might take time and effort to not only say you forgive but to actually mean it and feel it. But practice and commitment will get you there. Take one day at a time. Focus on letting go of your pain and disappointment, and release all the toxic energy inside you that's related to your ex. It might take weeks, months, or even years, but small steps are big ones toward releasing the bad and making room for the good energy you deserve.
5. It gives you closure
Deciding to let your resentment and hostility toward your ex go is like putting a neat little bow on top of your divorce. By asserting that you can forgive the wrongs of your past relationship, you close that door in peace. Again, you won't feel complete forgiveness overnight, but day after day of working toward forgiveness will lead you there sooner than you may think.
6. It will annoy your ex.
If you're not convinced by the first five reasons to work toward forgiveness but still want a reason to try, let's discuss the sixth and final way it gives you power. Seeing you happier and "over" all the BS they put you through will almost definitely annoy the heck out of your ex. How dare you no longer get a rise out of their behavior? Well, we dare you.
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