Symptoms of Divorce Anxiety and Coping Strategies

• Is divorce anxiety a legitimate health issue?
• Symptoms of divorce anxiety
• Calming your brain
• Getting help

Navigating something as life-changing as a divorce is never easy. And the legal battles and other lifestyle adjustments you’ll have to consider are just part of it. 

Something that’s rarely discussed in the context of divorce is the increase in anxiety and depression symptoms that many people experience. During this difficult time, you’ll be making decisions that can affect the rest of your life. How can you manage your divorce anxiety so you can make those important decisions calmly and rationally?

Divorce anxiety is a valid health concern

As we know, divorce is the unfortunate outcome of nearly half of all marriages today. And few life transitions can throw you off balance like the turmoil of the divorce process and its aftermath.

While we usually talk about divorce in terms of legal and financial issues, the inevitable conflict can also profoundly impact your mental health, no matter how well-adjusted and calm your base emotional foundation was before this. 

Divorce anxiety is real and common, and it can profoundly affect all areas of your life. You may experience strong distress when thinking about your future, your financial security, your parenting, and even your feelings of self-worth. 

Recent research in Denmark suggests that people who have recently experienced a divorce show higher levels of anxiety and depression symptoms than the general population. And for those who have a pre-existing anxiety disorder or depressive disorder, divorce can significantly exacerbate these mental health conditions.

Recognizing the symptoms of divorce anxiety

According to the American Psychological Association, anxiety is an emotion that combines worry and tension with physical changes. Consequently, anxiety can manifest in many different physical and emotional symptoms.

Physical symptoms of anxiety include the following:

• Heart palpitations or an increased heart rate
• Shortness of breath
• Pins and needles sensations in your extremities
• Sweating
• Trembling
• Restlessness
• Nausea
• Headaches or other body aches
• Feelings of fatigue or exhaustion
• Stomach issues or other digestive problems
• Insomnia

Here are some emotional symptoms of anxiety you might experience:

• Persistent nervousness or tension
• Panic attacks
• A sense of impending doom
• Increased irritability
• Trouble concentrating
• Chronic worrying
• Feeling out of sync with the people around you 
• Needing constant reassurance from others
• Rumination
• Dissociation
• Depression

Self-care is essential during your divorce to help combat these overwhelming feelings of anxiety. It can help boost your mood and reduce your stress levels, improve your sleep (which is critical during this emotional time), boost your self-esteem, and help you feel more in control over your life during the chaos. 

Calming your brain

Anxiety can feel like it’s taken control of your brain, your emotions, and your behavior. And because anxiety temporarily hijacks your brain’s fight, flight, or freeze responses, it usually requires a multi-pronged approach that focuses on both your physical and emotional symptoms. 

Breathing patterns

During anxiety, your breathing can feel shallow and ragged. Taking control of your breathing can instantly begin to calm your mind as well as your physical responses. A focused breathing pattern can relax the body’s involuntary functions, such as lowering your blood pressure, heart rate, and stress hormones in your blood. 

Many breathing techniques can be used, but one of the most simple is inhaling deeply through the nose for a count of four, holding for a count of four, and then exhaling loudly through the mouth for a count of four. This controlled breathing can help you tame many of your body’s responses to anxious thoughts during your divorce. 

Mindfulness or some other type of meditation

Redirecting anxious thoughts through mindful focus allows you to bring them to your attention without judgment or expectation and then let them drift off without attaching emotion to them. 

There are many guided meditations online specifically designed for anxious thoughts. Whether you use a self-guided approach or media-driven guided meditation, be gentle with yourself, begin small, and increase your meditation time as needed. There is no right or wrong here. If it only increases your anxiety, this type of meditation might not work for you. Move on to something else. 

Physical activity

Your physical health has a profound impact on your life experience, and physical exercise is nature’s anxiety reliever. It achieves this on many different levels.

• Movement activates and controls the part of the brain responsible for reacting to real or imagined threats to our survival, which divorce often feels like.
• It changes brain chemistry and the availability of anti-anxiety neurochemicals like serotonin, GABA, and endocannabinoids. 
• It relieves the muscle tension that contributes to anxious feelings in the body.
• It diverts you from focusing on your anxious thoughts and helps support feelings of resilience. 

To make exercise more enjoyable and something you’re more likely to be consistent with, do something you enjoy. Get out in nature – further lowering stress and anxiety – with friends or a group to help get the benefit of added social support.

Read: 10 Ways to Heal Your Emotional Trauma with Exercise

Getting professional guidance

Anxiety is not a personal weakness. In the case of divorce, it’s a natural response to a serious life transition. 

Fortunately, conversations around anxiety and mental health now taking place more openly, and in some ways, mental health stigmas are (slowly) dissipating. If you’re struggling with your anxiety symptoms, getting professional help is an important and brave move. A licensed mental health professional can offer you research-backed strategies and guidance. A knowledgeable and empathetic healer can help put your mind at ease that your feelings, although uncomfortable, are perfectly normal and temporary. 

Divorce isn’t just an event; it’s a process. At Hello Divorce, we are here to support that process no matter where you are on your journey. In addition to our affordable and simplified divorce plans and flat-rate related services, we have an extensive library of helpful resources. Schedule a free 15-minute phone call to learn more about our services. 

Suggested: 4 Ways to Protect Your Health during Divorce

Resources