- Permanent separation in the US
- Pros and cons of permanent separation
- FAQ
Permanent legal separation is available to couples in some states. It entails living apart without legally ending your marriage. In this blog, we explore the pros and cons of staying apart but still legally married.
What permanent separation looks like in the U.S.
In states that permit legal separation, such as California and Illinois, you can file for permanent separation with a separation agreement. This document outlines the responsibilities and rights of each spouse while living apart. It covers things like property division, child custody, and alimony and is a formal, court-recognized arrangement that provides a measure of legal protection to both parties.
In states with no legal separation provision, things get a tad complicated. Here, married couples can still live separately, but they do so without the protection of a legal framework. That said, they can still create an informal agreement outlining terms similar to those found in a legal separation agreement. Such an agreement isn't court-sanctioned, but it can provide a basis for a future divorce settlement if required.
There are only six states where legal separation isn't an option:
Pros and cons of permanent separation
Pros
Financial benefits: Staying legally married allows you to continue filing taxes jointly. You can share health insurance coverage and may have access to the other person’s Social Security benefits.
Religious beliefs: For those whose faith discourages or disallows divorce, permanent separation provides a respectful compromise.
Open options: Some couples are unsure whether divorce is the right step. Permanent separation can serve as a “trial period” to explore this uncertainty.
Cons
Legal complications: In the absence of a legal divorce, issues may arise around property rights, particularly if one party acquires assets while separated.
Potential for conflict: Without a divorce decree, disputes over child custody, alimony, or asset division might escalate.
Remarriage: You can't remarry if you're still legally married to someone else.
FAQ about permanent legal separation
Why would someone want to permanently separate?
Permanent separation may be a preferred option for individuals who wish to live apart but have reasons to maintain their legal marital status. These reasons often include financial advantages like tax benefits, access to a spouse's health insurance, or religious beliefs that discourage divorce. Sometimes, it's about keeping options open and having time to figure things out without the finality of divorce.
Can I get permanently separated if legal separation isn’t allowed in my state?
You can still live separately from your spouse even if your state doesn't recognize legal separation. However, it's important to understand that this won't come with the protections a legal separation agreement could offer.
Consider drafting an informal agreement that outlines terms regarding property division, alimony, and child custody. Although this is not a court-sanctioned document, it could potentially serve as a basis for a future divorce settlement.
I’ve been permanently separated for years, but now I want a divorce. What can I do?
If you're ready to transition from permanent separation to divorce, you will want to find out if your state laws allow you to easily convert the separation to a divorce. Some states provide for this, but other states don’t. You may have to start an entirely new legal process.
Hello Divorce is available to help people facing separations, divorces, and other legal concerns related to family law. To find out how we make the process easier for you, schedule a free 15-minute phone call.
FAQs
What is a permanent separation?
It’s when spouses live apart indefinitely without formally divorcing.
How is it different from divorce?
You remain legally married, but live separate lives—property, debt, and benefits may still be affected.
Does property earned after separation count as marital?
It depends on your state. Some treat it as separate, others don’t until divorce is final.
Can I date while permanently separated?
You’re still legally married, so dating may carry legal or custody implications.
Why choose permanent separation over divorce?
Reasons include finances, insurance coverage, religion, or emotional preference.
Do I need a legal agreement?
Yes, a written agreement avoids disputes over custody, support, and money.
Step-by-Step: How to Navigate a Permanent Separation
Clarify your reasons for permanent separation
Know whether finances, religion, or insurance drive your choice.
Discuss and agree on financial arrangements
Plan how bills, debts, and earnings will be managed.
Create a parenting plan if you have children
Ensure custody and schedules are consistent for kids.
Draft a written separation agreement
Put terms for custody, support, and money in writing.
Revisit insurance and benefits
Check what continues under separation and update what doesn’t.
Live separately and maintain boundaries
Keep households and accounts separate to avoid confusion.
Review your situation periodically
Reassess regularly to confirm the arrangement still works.
Suggested: Ending Your Marriage: Separation vs. Divorce vs. Annulment
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