Ending any relationship is hard. Not only are there emotional challenges, there are many procedural challenges, like deciding who will keep the house and the car. When minor children are involved, it can be even more difficult.
A lot of literature exists about ending a marriage, but there isn’t nearly as much information about how to end a domestic partnership … or the potential roadblocks you could encounter along the way. While the process varies from state to state, if you have a domestic partnership agreement, your official document may outline the steps you must follow.
Division of assets and other big decisions
In some ways, ending a marriage is similar to ending a domestic partnership. Both processes involve the division of assets, child custody determination, and the possible establishment of child support payments. If you have a domestic partnership agreement, that document should dictate how each of these situations would be resolved, much like a prenuptial agreement for a marriage. Without a clear and comprehensive domestic partnership agreement, however, it can be more difficult.
In some states, you can end a domestic partnership without going to court. This is accomplished by simply dissolving the legal relationship. You may have to file a form with your local court and pay a small fee.
Another difference is that in some states, the non-biological parent in a same-sex relationship has no custody or visitation rights in the event of a break-up. This can be especially difficult if the non-biological parent has been raising the child as their own for years.
Roadblocks you may encounter
The process of dissolving a domestic partnership can be fraught with roadblocks. In many cases, both people must agree on details such as property division, child custody and support, and alimony. If they cannot agree, the process can become quite messy and drawn out.
Property division
One of the biggest issues that can arise is property division. Like a divorce, both parties are typically entitled to about half of the assets regardless of who earned or contributed more to them. This can be a difficult pill to swallow for someone who contributed more to the partnership financially or emotionally.
Child custody and child support
Another common issue that arises during a breakup is child custody and support. Most states recognize the rights of biological or adoptive parents only. So, if you're not the biological parent and you've not formally adopted the child, you may have limited rights in a break-up.
In some states, the non-biological parent in a same-sex relationship has no legal rights to custody or visitation of the child in the event of a break-up. This can be especially difficult if the non-biological parent has been raising the child as their own for years.
Alimony
One of the most contentious issues in any breakup is alimony, or partner support. Alimony is designed to help one partner maintain their standard of living after a break-up. If alimony is not addressed in your domestic partnership agreement, it could lead to intense legal battles.
Tips for peaceful dissolution of a domestic partnership
Here are a few tips for a peaceful dissolution:
- Talk about your expectations and goals for the dissolution process. This can help avoid misunderstandings down the road.
- Make sure you have a clear understanding of each other's assets and debts. This will help prevent any disputes over property ownership later on.
- Keep communication open and civil. Fighting and bickering will only make things more difficult for everyone involved.
- Seek legal advice if necessary. A lawyer or other legal support can help you navigate the legal process and make sure your rights are protected.
FAQ about ending civil unions or domestic partnerships
How does the dissolution of a domestic partnership differ from a divorce?
One of the biggest differences lies in residency requirements. For example, California requires that married couples live in the state for six months before they can file for divorce. There is no such restriction for domestic partners.
Does anyone else need to know that my domestic partnership has ended?
Generally, you don't need to tell anyone. However, if either you or your partner receive benefits because of your domestic partnership, your benefits provider must be made aware of the change. If you don't provide adequate and timely notice, you could be held personally liable for any overpayments, plus interest and fees.
Do I need to hire a lawyer?
Generally speaking, no. However, it’s a good idea to have someone knowledgeable in the process guiding you. In addition to the intense emotions surrounding the conclusion of a relationship, ending a domestic partnership can be complex and confusing. So, it's recommended that you have trusted and experienced support to ensure you're following your state laws.
Recommended reading: How to Start and End a Domestic Partnership
If you’d like Hello Divorce to assist you with ending a domestic partnership, we invite you to schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation with one of our account coordinators.
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