Wondering what type of mediator is right for you? Michael Lubofsky explains the three types of mediation services. If one or more of these techniques piques your interest, ask your prospective mediator what style of mediation they use.
Most people seeking mediation want a cost-effective solution that is less contentious than other options. A situation is ripe for mediation when all parties express readiness and willingness to open up and listen to divergent points of view while actively negotiating a resolution to their conflict.
Active participation distinguishes mediation from formal court litigation. Rather than rely on a judge or jury to unilaterally decide a case, in mediation, parties actively craft their own solutions. Though all types of mediation share this fundamental distinction, three specific types of mediation have emerged: facilitative mediation, evaluative mediation, and transformative mediation.
Facilitative mediation
Interpersonal conflict arises when people interpret a factual scenario differently. Some conflicts (e.g., an accident) involve a single event. Other conflicts (e.g., a marital relationship) unfold over the course of time. These scenarios become problematic when one or more parties interpret them in a way that violates their notion of how things "should have" been or how someone "should have" acted. In many cases, the incongruity of what "should have" happened versus what actually happened violates a person's deeply held beliefs.
The violation prompts that person to react defensively or even aggressively when the other party tries to explain or justify their actions. At a time like this, a neutral intermediary can help diffuse the tension. The mediator assumes a facilitative role, fostering constructive discussion between parties. This role is at the heart of facilitative mediation.
Evaluative mediation
In this second category of mediation, the challenges standing in the way of a negotiated resolution have less to do with interpersonal conflict and more to do with a lack of clarity about likely future outcomes for each party. In evaluative mediation, the mediator draws on their professional expertise to clarify the understanding and legal merits of each party's position.
Evaluative mediation is commonly used in complex situations where parties lack a clear understanding of what arguments are likely to be successful or unsuccessful. The mediator helps people clarify the situation, and the parties gain the knowledge or understanding needed to resolve their issues without costly litigation.
Transformative mediation
Transformative mediation allows parties to seize the transformative potential inherent in conflict. Conflict acts as a springboard for personal or spiritual growth. Parties explore the higher ideals of transformative mediation in addition to resolving the practical and legal aspects underlying their dispute. Tension and conflict arise when a person's conditioned sense of "right and wrong" or "good and bad" is challenged. The challenge may distress a person's core sense of self, commonly referred to as "ego."
A transformative mediator creates a safe, comfortable environment where parties articulate and explore their experience with conflict. In addition to the resolution of practical and legal aspects of a divorce, the reward of transformative mediation is heightened self-understanding and freedom from the grip of previously held and entrenched beliefs.
Frequently Asked Questions About the Types of Mediation
What are the main types of divorce mediation?
The three common types are facilitative, evaluative, and transformative mediation. Each offers a different style of guidance and support.
What is facilitative mediation?
Facilitative mediation emphasizes open communication. The mediator helps clarify issues and guide discussion but does not give advice or opinions.
What is evaluative mediation?
In evaluative mediation, the mediator takes a more structured role, sometimes offering feedback on each side’s position based on legal or professional knowledge.
What is transformative mediation?
Transformative mediation focuses on improving how couples communicate and understand one another. It’s less about settlement terms and more about building healthier post-divorce interactions.
How do I know which type of mediation is right for me?
It depends on your goals. Structured guidance may call for evaluative mediation, open discussion may benefit from facilitative mediation, and strained relationships may improve with transformative mediation.
Can different mediation styles be combined?
Yes. Many mediators use a blend of approaches depending on what best serves the couple in each stage of the process.
How to Choose the Right Type of Divorce Mediation
Identify your main goals
Decide if your focus is quick resolution, communication improvement, or legal clarity.
Learn about the three mediation types
Review facilitative, evaluative, and transformative mediation to see which fits your situation.
Consult with potential mediators
Ask about their approach, experience, and methods for managing conflict.
Match style to situation
Choose evaluative if you need structured input, transformative if communication is broken, or facilitative if you prefer guided discussion.
Confirm flexibility
Look for a mediator who can adapt their style or combine methods to meet your needs.
Commit to the process
Approach mediation with openness, compromise, and a child- or future-focused mindset.
Not sure if mediation will work for you?
Our free download can help.
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