Bitter Divorce? Here's a Valentine's Day Gift You Can Actually Use

Recently, I felt my heart ache as I listened to a new client describe her ongoing divorce. The kind of bitter, awful, gut-wrenching divorce that I wish never existed. The hardest part for me was knowing that so many of her stresses (and costs) could have been avoided had she started her process with Hello Divorce.

Not to say that we've got some magic wand that can change what her ex did and continues to do, but at least she would have been on a less combative path. At Hello Divorce, we're about support, showing people going through divorce that by being honest and efficient, the process can be quick and affordable. You can win at divorce, and there's no need to pull out the big guns for top-dollar attorney battles.

Time for a new lawyer or strategy?

The conversation made me think about the movie Marriage Story, which has prompted so many discussions about divorce and just how realistic the movie felt for some ... and for others who worried their good intentions might work against them in the end (by a lawyer or their opposing spouse).

One thing from my (legal) take on the movie bears repeating: No good lawyer will steal your narrative or make you feel like you have to fight your ex, regardless of your ex's tactics. All this does is add to your anxiety and, frankly, your legal bills. If you feel you're losing control over your divorce to your lawyer, please consider interviewing a new lawyer. Download these questions to take along, and you'll be ahead of the game in understanding how your next lawyer will support you, not direct you.

And, as hard as it can be to go through a divorce, remember that this is an opportunity to hit the reset button in a number of ways. Things might feel like they're spinning out of control, but as long as you're armed with good information and access to the right emotional, legal, and financial help, you can turn your struggle into a breakthrough.

You inspire me. So, I made you a Valentine's Day present.

If you're reading this right now, divorce is impacting your life. But you are doing something about it. You're looking for information. You're taking control of your narrative and preparing to move forward. That's brave. And inspiring.

You are why I created my very first e-book: 5 Essentials to Understand and Win at Divorce. After 16 years of working as a family law attorney and helping people through their divorces, I created this book based on the information that gave them the best advantage; the information they said truly saved them, financially and from stress.

And now, I want YOU to benefit from it. It's also a great companion piece to this week's Hello Divorce Podcast:

In the spirit of keeping everyone informed in order to neutralize conflict, you might even want to forward a copy of the ebook to your ex.

Let's look forward.

Here's to turning the page. Here's to controlling what you can control. Here's to staying smart, empowered, and ahead of the game. And here's to having the information you need to keep control of your own divorce story.

Founder, CEO & Certified Family Law Specialist
Mediation, Divorce Strategy, Divorce Insights, Legal Insights
After over a decade of experience as a Certified Family Law Specialist, Mediator and law firm owner, Erin was fed up with the inefficient and adversarial “divorce corp” industry and set out to transform how consumers navigate divorce - starting with the legal process. By automating the court bureaucracy and integrating expert support along the way, Hello Divorce levels the playing field between spouses so that they can sort things out fairly and avoid missteps. Her access to justice work has been recognized by the legal industry and beyond, with awards and recognition from the likes of Women Founders Network, TechCrunch, Vice, Forbes, American Bar Association and the Pro Bono Leadership award from Congresswoman Barbara Lee. Erin lives in California with her husband and two children, and is famously terrible at board games.