The Marie Kondo Divorce: Declutter and Get Back on Track

If your divorce feels "stuck," these tips for a Marie Kondo divorce will help you get things back on track.

First: Get resolved

By resolved, I mean you've had that insight, that knowingness that this divorce is the right step for you. You may still feel remorse or guilt or sadness, but if you know in your gut that divorce is the best path for you and your family, you've got to move forward.

Second: Stop researching, pondering, and overthinking: It's time for action

As a good friend of mine says, "End it. Move on." If you are reading this post, I would bet $100 that this is not the first divorce article you've read this week (or even today). You've probably been obsessively trying to figure out the best path. Mediation? An on-demand, flat-rate legal service like Hello Divorce? Lawyer up? Now's the time to make the leap. None of these options are mutually exclusive. If one doesn't work, try another. But make sure you do it.

If you're still not sure how to approach your divorce, here's a tip: Stop Googling for advice. Focus instead on reading reliable articles from lawyers, financial professionals, and legal professionals with positive reputations who don't hide the ball. Trustworthy professionals in these fields will do everything in their power to educate you about the divorce process and how it works in your state. And while it's good to know (generally) what the process will look like, do not get caught in the rabbit hole of trying to solve every single problem that might come your way (and likely never will). Focus on the now. Don't overthink.

Third: Get rid of the stuff that's holding you back

And by "stuff," I mean anything in the way of you getting from A to B. Here are a few examples:

Ditch the emotional baggage

Face your guilt, grief, and pain headfirst. A divorce coach can help you process and work through the divorce process, and so can a therapist. (How to choose? Click here.)

Another good option to consider is a life coach who can help you focus on, design, and work through a plan to reach personal or professional goals in your next chapter, which can be extremely helpful in turbulent times.

Face your financial fears

Separation of assets and setting yourself up for a new financial picture post-divorce is a big job and can cause a lot of anxiety. Overcome those fears early by getting organized and tidy now. Open a Dropbox, One Drive, or Box folder, and drop all of your divorce-related documents in there. Create subfolders for kids, taxes, financials, and divorce docs (pleadings). In other words: get rid of the paper. Complete this (free) worksheet to get clear not just on what you have but what issues will need to be decided and what your respective position is on each.

Then, start a few spreadsheets. Create one spreadsheet (here's a template) listing all of your assets and debts – both your own and those you share jointly with your spouse. Start another one with your estimated monthly expenses from this point forward. Creating these documents is the hardest part, but start now, and it will get easier as you go – and you'll return to these documents frequently during the process.

Keep the people who bring you joy

Drop the ones who don't. Friends, colleagues, and family will all have opinions on your ex, and some may get vocal about it. Drop the people who are holding you back, who live in the past, and who keep bad-mouthing your ex all the time. This is a difficult, emotional process. Negative influences can just make it even more difficult. Limit your tribe to people that help you create joy and purpose.

Fourth: Get clear on what you do and don't need

Divorce is not rocket science, but it sure is complicated and procedural. Even if you have a fairly amicable divorce, it's a good idea to meet with a lawyer for one or two sessions just to ensure you are on track and focusing on the correct stuff.

Meeting with a lawyer once or twice is not "lawyering up," and you should encourage your ex to do the same. Services like my company, Hello Divorce, offer legal help on demand for a flat-rate (and transparent) fee. In addition to the good general advice to help you stay on track, a lawyer can help you navigate all of the various forms and pleadings, many of which you don't need. Use an expert to help you find the best path to the finish line.

Follow these four steps, and you'll Marie Kondo your divorce and declutter the path to your next chapter in no time!

Ready to Marie Kondo your divorce? Book a FREE call right now with one of our team members, and your divorce will be decluttered and back on track in no time.


Founder, CEO & Certified Family Law Specialist
Mediation, Divorce Strategy, Divorce Insights, Legal Insights
After over a decade of experience as a Certified Family Law Specialist, Mediator and law firm owner, Erin was fed up with the inefficient and adversarial “divorce corp” industry and set out to transform how consumers navigate divorce - starting with the legal process. By automating the court bureaucracy and integrating expert support along the way, Hello Divorce levels the playing field between spouses so that they can sort things out fairly and avoid missteps. Her access to justice work has been recognized by the legal industry and beyond, with awards and recognition from the likes of Women Founders Network, TechCrunch, Vice, Forbes, American Bar Association and the Pro Bono Leadership award from Congresswoman Barbara Lee. Erin lives in California with her husband and two children, and is famously terrible at board games.