Divorce Survival Tips for ISFJ Personality Types

The ISFJ personality is introverted, sensing, feeling, and judging.

ISFJs tend to be loyal, generous, and hardworking perfectionists. Although introverted, they are extremely thoughtful and mindful of the well-being of those around them. Because they are reserved and quite private, they may repress important feelings and fail to take care of themselves when self-care is needed most.

Learn about the Myers-Briggs test and the other 15 personality types.

Tips for handling divorce as an ISFJ

Don’t give so much that you have nothing left

You’re a caretaker and a giver, and the people around you benefit from your generosity. While this is an excellent and endearing trait, in the midst of a divorce, it can lead to burnout for you. 

Realize your generous tendencies, and rein them in before you start feeling exhausted and burnt out. In short, take more time for yourself right now because divorce is tough, and you need your strength.

Discuss your big decisions with a trusted other

ISJFs are indecisive and prone to guilt. The big decision to divorce, as well all the other decisions you must make regarding your divorce settlement, will undoubtedly stress you out. Find a confidant—someone you respect and trust. It could be a good friend, a mentor, or a therapist.

Set boundaries with your ex

Your inclination may be to help your ex through this emotional ordeal. In fact, they may have come to expect this from you after living with you all this time. But this divorce is a big deal for you, too. The two of you might remain friends, but they’re not your top priority right now. You are.

Spend time processing this change

ISJFs don’t often do well with change, so give yourself the time you need to swallow and digest the fact that you’re divorcing. Realize and accept that your “emotional processing period” may take longer than you would like it to. Journaling your feelings may lighten your load. Check out other creative outlets, too, such as poetry, painting, sculpture, dance, gardening, or home decorating. Seek professional therapy if you think you need it because, as an ISFJ, life-changing experiences like this tend to shake you to your core.

Nurture your body and mind

As an ISFJ, the rigmarole of divorce can leave you feeling exhausted and burnt out. Don’t forget to eat healthy foods, stay hydrated, get enough sleep, see your doctor as needed, and make time for fun and relaxation. 

You might not feel like doing any of these things right now (or they might seem hard) … but that’s exactly why you should at least try to do them! We invite you to download our free self-care worksheet. It’ll guide you through the thinking and planning process for taking better care of yourself.

Recommended reading for ISFJs

Head of Content
Communication, Relationships, Personal Growth, Mental Health
As Hello Divorce's Head of Content, Katie is dedicated to breaking down the stress and mess of divorce into clear, helpful content that delivers hope rather than fear. Katie most often writes about the emotional toll of divorce, self-care and mindfulness, and effective communication. Katie has 20+ years of experience in content development and management, specializing in compelling consumer-facing content that helps people live better lives. She has a Master's in Media Studies from the University of Wisconsin. Katie lives in Texas with her husband and two adorable cats, and you can find her hiking and bird watching in her free time.