The ISTP personality is introverted, sensing, thinking, and perceiving.
ISTPs tend to be spontaneous people who seek thrills and enjoy hands-on experiences. They listen to others attentively, though they may not fully comprehend the emotional experiences of others because they tend to be more rational and logical than they are empathetic.
Avoidant of commitments and long-term plans, ISTPs often focus on short-term goals rather than the big picture. Although intensely private and introverted, they tend to exude a cheerful and relaxed vibe in social situations.
Tips for handling divorce as an ISTP
Familiarize yourself with the divorce process
If you’re at the beginning of your divorce journey, you may have noticed there’s a lot for you to do. The deluge of paperwork, meetings, deadlines, and possible court dates may make your head spin.
ISTPs aren’t always the best at long-term planning, so it can be a relief to have concrete checklists in hand telling you what to do and what to expect. That’s precisely why we created our Pre-Leaving Checklist, Hello Divorce Worksheet, Settlement Agreement Checklist, and many more free resources like this on our website.
Focus on the end result
You may feel frustrated when divorce negotiations and other interactions with your soon-to-be-ex don’t go your way. Remind yourself what’s important at this point: setting yourself up for success in your next chapter. The actions you take now impact your future.
Compromise with your ex is one way to achieve ultimate peace and more gains in the long run. Could you and your ex benefit from the help of a neutral third party? If so, consider hiring a professional divorce coach or mediator for help with your negotiations. Lots of people do it and are glad they did.
ISTPs expect great things from those they care about. So maybe you’re feeling disappointed with your spouse and distressed at your perception of how they failed you. Can you find a way to forgive them anyway? Because forgiveness is not actually something you do for others—it’s something you do for yourself. Consider a guided meditation on forgiveness. We like this one from Tara Brach: A Forgiving Heart.
Process your emotions
ISTPs often struggle to process difficult feelings, and divorce is definitely a high-emotion situation. For your own health, find positive ways to express yourself and release some of your pent-up emotional energy.
Consider an online support group where you can share freely—and anonymously if you prefer. Or, seek a counselor or divorced mentor who can guide you through the healthy release of your emotions. And don’t forget about the hands-on activities you love. If it feels good to get your hands dirty in a garden, a painting project, or some other creative endeavor, do it.
Resist the urge to self-isolate
You appreciate your alone time, but too much isolation is bad for anyone. Put a cap on the amount of time you’ll be spending completely alone. Make dates to do things with friends or family members, even if you don’t always feel like it. Take a class. Join a social group. Treat yourself to fun new experiences that push you out of your comfort zone. You’ll walk away from these experiences feeling more confident about your ability to handle what life throws at you.
Recommended reading for ISTPs
As an ISTP, you may feel emotionally stuck right now. This feeling won’t last forever, and there are people standing by to help. That includes the professionals here at Hello Divorce. We’re rooting for you to succeed, and we’ve got the tools and expertise to lighten your burden as you complete your divorce journey.