Parental Alienation in Colorado: What is It & How to Prove It

• What is parental alienation? Is it illegal in Colorado?
• How does parental alienation impact children?
• Common signs of parental alienation 
• How do Colorado courts deal with parental alienation?
• How to prove parental alienation 
• How to deal with parental alienation 

While Colorado laws don’t contain explicit rules and regulations regarding parental alienation, the court can step in if one parent deliberately prevents a child from having a healthy relationship with the other. 

What is parental alienation? Is it illegal in Colorado?

Parental alienation is a targeted behavior used by one parent (the attacking party) to impact the child’s thinking about the other parent (the targeted party). The goal of parental alienation is to alter the child’s relationship with one parent. Often, the attacking party wants the child to stop seeing the targeted party altogether. 

It’s important to know that parental alienation only applies when the attacking party is changing the child’s mind without cause. If one parent physically or mentally abuses the child, the other may have legitimate reasons for encouraging reduced contact. 

When a child’s formerly positive feelings for a parent shift with seemingly no cause – and one parent has been "whispering in the child’s ear" about the other – parental alienation may be the cause. 

This behavior isn’t explicitly illegal per Colorado law. However, legislators say that it’s in a child’s best interests to have a relationship with both parents, and both parties have a right to connect with their children. Similarly, legislators say agreements made during divorce must be upheld later, including those involving child custody. You can use those sentiments in court if you believe your relationship is deteriorating due to parental alienation. 

How does parental alienation impact children?

Any high-conflict divorce will have at least some impact on the children shared by the divorcing couple. Parental alienation can cause even more damage. 

Experts say children who experience parental alienation can develop the following issues:

• Inability to establish and maintain healthy relationships 
• Lowered self-esteem 
• Feelings of guilt, anxiety, and depression 
• Less impulse control 
• Poor performance in school 

Some of these issues can persist throughout the child’s life. While the attacking parent may truly believe they’re working in the best interests of their family members, they could be causing long-lasting harm. It’s important for targeting parents to stop the behavior so the child can have a healthier future. 

Read: Understanding and Protecting Kids’ Mental Health in Divorce

Common signs of parental alienation 

After a difficult divorce, parents often have lingering feelings of anger. It’s normal for those emotions to come out in their conversations with their children. It’s also understandable if one parent feel jealous of the time a child spends with the other. Parental alienation is a little different, however. 

Parental alienation is a targeted campaign to make the child develop hostile feelings about the other person. The actions are usually very deliberate and hard to ignore. Someone who uses these tactics is moving beyond feisty parent behavior and into child abuse. 

Some possible signs of parental alienation include the following:

• Hiding cards and gifts from the targeted parent so the child believes that birthdays, holidays, and other celebrations have been forgotten 
• Neglecting to tell the targeted parent about a child’s upcoming sports events or school activities, and then telling the child the other parent skipped them purposefully 
• Interrogating the child about every detail of a visit and making disparaging comments throughout the discussion 
• Interfering with scheduled appointments between the child and the targeted parent by claiming the child is sick or doesn’t want to visit 
• Smothering or overly soothing a child after a visit, claiming that contact with the targeted parent is inherently damaging 
• Encouraging the child to make disparaging comments about the targeted parent by offering gifts or praise when the child does so 

Every case is a little different. Your child may not experience all of the tactics we’ve listed here. The scope of the behavior, however, is clearly outside the realm of what parents would consider helpful or collaborative. 

How do Colorado courts deal with parental alienation?

As mentioned, parental alienation is not listed as a crime under Colorado state law. However, a concerned parent could trigger a review of their parenting plan and prove to the court that their ex is making child visitation difficult or impossible. 

The theory of parental alienation has come under fire in Colorado after some high-profile cases fell apart in 2023. Parents must be prepared to show hard evidence of misbehavior before the court will rule in their favor. 

If you can prove that parental alienation has been happening, the Colorado court could respond by modifying your parenting plan. For example, they could limit the child's interactions with the abusive party and have the child spend more time with the targeted parent. The court could also require the abuser to complete a therapeutic program so the behavior isn’t repeated.

How to prove parental alienation 

Some courts approach parental alienation cases with caution. It’s important for parents to prepare plenty of proof if this is happening.

Your proof might include the following:

• Witnesses who have seen or heard the behaviors 
• Cruel social media posts written by the attacker about you 
• Text messages from the attacker to you or the child 
• Email messages from the attacker to you or the child 
• Voicemail messages from the attacker to you or the child

Some cases work best with testimony. If you go this route, choose your witness carefully. The court may be resistant to advice from an expert who could profit from the therapy they suggest the child needs. Preferred experts who could provide testimony include a child’s teacher, physical doctor, or court-appointed mental health counselor. 

Read: How to Deal If Your Ex Talks Negatively about You in Front of the Kids

How to deal with parental alienation 

Experts say children do better when they maintain close contact with both parents. Even if you disagree with your partner about almost everything, it’s critical to keep the trauma away from your children. Even though it can be tough, it’s worth the effort to avoid negative talk about the other parent around your child. 

If you’re the targeted parent, the following tips may help:

• Gather evidence about the abuse, but don’t pump your kids for data. 
• Encourage your partner to stick to the agreements you’ve made. 
• Ask a mediator to facilitate a conversation between you and your partner. 
• Be as kind to your children as you can, whenever you see them. 
• Don’t retaliate against your partner, even though you may want to do so. 

If the behavior doesn’t stop, you can head to the Colorado court and ask a judge to step in and help. You have the right to the parent-child contact agreed upon in your divorce paperwork.

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