9 Ways a Divorce Coach Can Help You Win Your Divorce
- What is a divorce coach?
- Who needs a divorce coach?
- Divorce cliches vs. reality
- 9 divorce coach benefits
- Where to find a divorce coach
Everyone needs a little help now and then. If ever there was a time in life when it would be nice to have an expert in your corner – someone to root for you, strategize with you, clarify confusing information for you – divorce would be it.
Enter the divorce coach.
What is a divorce coach?
A divorce coach is a professional life coach with specialized knowledge and skills in all things divorce. Hello Divorce works only with certified divorce coaches. These are professionals who have received formal training in how to advocate and assist at any stage of the divorce process – before, during, or after. Learn more about them here.
Why you might need a divorce coach
You might decide to work with a divorce coach if any of the following apply to you:
- You’re thinking about leaving your spouse and want professional input. You'd like someone to help you process your thoughts, tell you your options, and help you formulate a plan.
- You need help with your legal strategy. Your coach can tell you what needs to be done next. They can help you decide whether to hire a divorce attorney, work with a mediator, try a DIY divorce, or something else.
- You need help with logistics. Figure out day-to-day logistics like where you’re going to live, how much money to set aside, what needs to get accomplished next, and who to hire for help.
- You need a project manager to help you with the practicalities of divorce. Understand, prioritize, and handle all the fine details and to-dos you’re too overwhelmed to manage on your own.
- You need an emotional support person – someone who understands what you’re going through and will cheer you on as you go through one of the biggest transitions of your life.
- You need an ally. Someone knowledgeable and nonjudgmental who can help whether you’re grappling with family problems, dealing with anxiety about your kids, worrying about your finances, or trying to reclaim your old self.
Divorce cliches vs. reality
The cliche divorce is an “us versus them” scenario where one spouse wins and the other loses. Each spouse is determined to take the other for all they’re worth. Each strives to leave the other penniless, childless, and maybe even homeless. To accomplish this goal, they might spend tens of thousands of dollars on the most ruthless divorce lawyer in town.
Real, modern divorce
A real divorce isn’t like that at all. State laws prohibit one spouse from “taking the other” for all they’re worth. Whether you live in a community property state or an equitable distribution state, the judge who evaluates your marital settlement agreement – the document that outlines property division, child custody, spousal support, and other matters – will not sign off on it unless it’s fair to both of you.
What it means to 'win' a divorce
With this in mind, let’s talk about what it means to win your divorce. It doesn’t mean you get everything and your spouse gets nothing. Rather, it means that both of you get something. Hopefully, you get what you wanted the most, and so does your spouse. Regardless, the agreement you make is fair.
Free download: Property Division Spreadsheet
9 ways a divorce coach can help you win your divorce
Striking a compromise in divorce is hard. Walking away from a marriage with your dignity and self-esteem intact may seem like an impossible feat. A divorce coach can help you do this and more.
In short, a divorce coach can help you win your divorce. Here are some of the ways they can do that.
You'll feel confident about your decisions.
People in your situation are often slammed with feelings of fear, doubt, and insecurity when faced with a life-altering change like divorce. A divorce coach helps you separate your fears from reality. With empathy and patience, they help you think through your big decisions and next steps. Through their questioning and self-reflection, you get clarity on what you want in a partner and what you need to live a fulfilling life.
Read: Should You Divorce? What to Do When You Can’t Make Up Your Mind
You'll feel confident in your legal strategy.
The divorce process is overwhelming. A good divorce coach senses which aspects are stressing you out. They break these aspects down into digestible chunks and help you check off each task on your to-do list while maintaining your sanity. As a result, you move through the process feeling good about your choices and yourself.
You will feel seen and heard.
The legal divorce process can feel cold, mechanical, and impersonal. In addition to thoroughly understanding the process of divorce, your coach understands you. Right now, you may be feeling undesirable, guilty, or broken. Your coach knows your divorce doesn’t define you, and they accept you without judgment. Their compassion for you is so strong, in fact, that they have dedicated their professional life to helping people like you get through this.
You will get answers to your questions.
Unless you’re a lawyer yourself, the overwhelm of divorce can lead to brain fog, detachment, and the urge to just shut down. Information is the cure. Your coach either has the answers to your perplexing questions or knows how to get them. Their mission is to arm you with information and facts so you’re not plagued by unnecessary worries about the unknown.
You can gain valuable coping skills.
Need help keeping your cool these days? Your divorce coach has tips and ideas for you. Need help setting boundaries with your ex? Your divorce coach has strategies for that. Divorce introduces a unique set of challenges you may not have faced before. Your coach is specially trained in skill assessment and self-development. As you face life’s new challenges, they offer solutions based on training and experience.
You will go from functional to optimal.
Unassisted, you might feel like you’re just getting by right now. With a divorce coach in your life, you elevate from functional to optimal. Through questioning and brainstorming, they help you make the best use of your time, energy, and money. Your divorce process feels less like a sloppy mess and more like a well-oiled machine with the guidance of your coach.
You should feel more hopeful and less anxious.
Your divorce coach is your cool-headed companion when you’re anxious and stressed. They have deeply pondered the concerns and worries of divorcing people – worries about kids, money, career, life, and more. They have learned tools for stress management, conflict resolution, and problem-solving, and they share these tools with you when you need them.
You'll start to realize you are going to be okay.
Your coach has helped others cross the finish line, and they will help you, too. You don’t have to do this alone. An expert is there to help. This person cares about your wellness, your happiness, and your self-development. They’ll help you look back and identify where things went wrong. They’ll help you set goals for your future. Because the coaching process is so thoroughly tailored to your situation and needs, you know you’re going to be okay.
Where to find a divorce coach
Now you may be wondering where to find a good divorce coach or how much a divorce coach costs. At Hello Divorce, a large part of our mission is to offer affordable solutions for struggling people. This includes affordable divorce coaching sessions, which can be purchased in one-hour and five-hour increments.
For a deeper look at what you get from a Hello Divorce coach, please see our article What Is a Divorce Coach, and Do I Need One? We also invite you to take advantage of a free 15-minute consultation with one of our account coordinators, who can answer your questions in person.
