What to Expect During the Divorce Process

Since that momentous Supreme Court decision in June 2015, same-sex marriages are now recognized as legal marriages in all 50 states. This decision resulted in hundreds of thousands of LGBTQ+ couples (finally!) being afforded the same rights and responsibilities as their heterosexual counterparts. There are definitely some extra hurdles in the divorce process, though. Here are some of our top tips for LGBTQ+ spouses who are contemplating divorce:

Triple-check which divorce forms you need

Depending on when you were married, or if you entered into a civil union before same-sex marriage was legally recognized, your state may require a different or additional form. For instance, Colorado has separate divorce forms for the dissolution of a civil union. Check your local court website or self-help center to determine which forms you will need.

Remember, if you had a civil union and then got married, you usually have to dissolve both with the court.

Make sure you understand your rights as a parent

Same-sex partners may have added complications if one parent did not legally adopt the children prior to divorce, including a chance that the court might not recognize their legal right as a parent. This issue can come up in opposite-sex marriages as well, when a stepparent may have no legal rights to parenting time with their stepchildren after divorce.

When it comes to the online divorce process, the first step is knowing how and where to file for divorce. You or your spouse must meet residency requirements for your state, and you (or your spouse) will file for divorce in the county where you meet the requirements. 

Typcially, the first step in filing for divorce is letting your state know you are starting a divorce. You will fill out a Petition, then file it with your state (and pay your filing fee). Once the court approves this divorce form, you will be able to "serve" it to your spouse, letting them know you've started the divorce process. 

Serving this divorce paperwork will start the your state's mandatory waiting period. If you work with Hello Divorce, we can review, file, and serve these documents for you.

Next, financial disclosures are generally required. As a Hello Divorce customer, our software will simplify and organize these documents for you.

The last step is working on an Agreement with your ex. It's ok to start the divorce process without an Agreement, but to have an uncontested divorce, you will need to work on a settlement. Hello Divorce has lots of services like lawyers, mediators, and divorce finance experts to help if you get stuck on this step.

There are two types of divorce: fault and no-fault. Fault divorces are the ones in which "grounds" fpor divorce matter. 

In a fault divorce, the filing spouse holds the other spouse responsible for the end of the marriage. 

Fault states for divorce are Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Maryland, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, South Carolina, Vermont, and Virginia. The District of Columbia also offers fault divorce.

Other no-fault divorce states are Wisconsin, Oregon, Washington, Nevada, Nebraska, Montana, Missouri, Minnesota, Michigan, Kentucky, Kansas, Iowa, Indiana, Hawaii, Florida, and Colorado.

While there isn't really a "fast track" option for divorce (everyone needs to go through the waiting period and paperwork assigned by their state), if you and your spouse communicate well, behave reasonably, and quickly come to an agreement, you could be finished with your divorce relatively close to the shortest timeframe your state allows. Using an online service like Hello Divorce with expert help can greatly reduce your timeline.

Keep in mind that if you use a lawyer, most divorces take an average of 50-100% more time to complete. 

In general, almost all divorce records are public unless the court orders the records sealed. Any member of the public can access the papers of most divorce cases. 

If there are identifying details in your records that could make you unsafe if someone found them, there are usually provisions to hide or not disclose that information publicly while you are divorcing.

Hello Divorce has a privacy policy with your information. We do not sell your personal information and we keep your information on a secure server. Read more here.

The average cost of divorce is $20,000 per person.  At Hello Divorce, we're proud that we've managed to lower the average cost of divorce for our users to just $1,500.

We've done that by speeding up the paperwork process through our Divorce Navigator software, which helps you complete all of your divorce paperwork online through a guided series of questions. Save your work as you go, and work at your own pace. When you're done, the click of a button lets you print your official divorce paperwork and file yourself, or have one of our account coordinators handle it all for you so you never have to deal with the court or the confusion of the divorce process.

If you and your spouse are comfortable completing the judicial forms and agree on how to divide your property and share custody – or at least know you want to get to a fair agreement – you may not need a lawyer. Even if you aren't in total agreement or need help with division of assets, working with a mediator or divorce finance expert may be more productive that working with a lawyer.

If you have not been married long and acquired only personal property – or perhaps even entered into a prenuptial agreement that remains uncontested – a lawyer might not be necessary. That said, even if you and your spouse agree on how to divide your property, you may still need a mediator or lawyer to help you draft your agreement.

The waiting period for divorce varies from state to state (generally no waiting period to 6 months), and starts once you serve the Petition to your spouse, which usually can happen within 1-2 weeks after starting your paperwork.

At least one of you must meet the residency requirements in your state.  So, if you want to divorce quickly, avoid moving before filing.