How to Have Fun Doing Things Alone After Divorce
- Embracing the single life
- Ways to enjoy doing things alone
- Tips for connecting with people after divorce
After your divorce, you may be single again for the first time in many years, if not decades. If you haven’t been alone in a long time, being by yourself after years of marriage can feel downright scary. Doing things by yourself? Even scarier!
Don’t worry. It will take time – and a little bit of practice – but before you know it, you can get the hang of enjoying your own company. In fact, you can become a pro at having fun all by yourself and finding others to have fun with you.
Embracing the single life
We live in a loud, busy world, and some people just naturally struggle with being alone. This can be especially true after a divorce that was filled with emotional turmoil and arguing. Suddenly, there is quiet. What do you do with yourself?
Here’s the thing: People who desperately avoid aloneness after a break-up often fall into other uncomfortable situations and relationships.
Being alone doesn’t have to be lonely. In fact, learning to enjoy your own company is one of the best ways to find the self-acceptance and empowerment that can enhance everything you do from here forward.
Embracing your new singlehood doesn’t have to be difficult. Consider these ideas.
Ways to enjoy doing things alone
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
One of the main drawbacks of today’s digital age is how easy it is to fall into comparison mode. We see everyone else’s picture-perfect coupledoms displayed on social media for our viewing pleasure. Seldom do we see the reality of their lives – the arguments, the heartbreaks, and the loneliness.
Don’t fall for the “everyone is in a happy relationship but me” illusion. It’s simply not true. Everyone faces challenges, but you don’t see them because they aren’t social media-worthy. Healing takes time. You are fine right where you are.
2. Practice gratitude
If you consider that you were in the middle of a divorce not that long ago, this time can be one of sweet grace. Is it quiet? Yes! Because you’re not in the middle of an argument right now. In fact, there are no more arguments.
In this new quiet, accept the freedom and the space to think for yourself and be yourself. After years of molding your life to someone else’s, you are now free. This time is a gift. Use it to remember who you were and cultivate who you are.
3. Set exciting goals
When was the last time you set new goals for yourself without having to first consider your spouse? Probably before your marriage.
The future is now all yours. Maybe you left behind a great career to start a family, but now you’re thinking of starting your own consulting business. Maybe you’re dreaming of going to culinary school. Maybe one of your life goals is to raft down the Colorado River.
These goals may or may not take years to fulfill, but the excitement of getting those creative juices flowing is worth the exercise of daydreaming, planning, and even vision-boarding.
4. Fill the silence
After divorce, silence can feel especially heavy and uncomfortable. Don’t just create noise to distract yourself.
Fill your space with things that support a positive environment. Create a playlist filled with music that sparks happiness and energy. Scope out life-affirming TV shows that aren’t full of over-the-top drama and sadness. Listen to podcasts and audiobooks while you cook dinner.
Before you know it, you might not feel the need to drown out the silence. But when you do need to fill that space, do it mindfully.
5. Explore old and new hobbies
Have you always wanted to take a kayaking trip? Take a painting class? Learn a new language? You’ll be amazed at how exciting life can truly be when there’s nobody else making rules or holding you back.
Adopt a pet. Volunteer. Go back to school. Whether you’re looking to feed your soul, hoping to make a difference in your community, challenging yourself physically, or simply looking for some fun, now is your time to explore new things that support your growth and happiness.
Tips for connecting with people after divorce
Of course, learning to be alone may not be your struggle. The struggle may very well be how to find and share with others so you feel connected and accepted again.
Invite people over
Your social life may have taken a backseat while everything else was going on in your life. Reach out to your nearest and dearest, and invite them over for an evening of low-key conversation or a less low-key all-out party or game night. Host a potluck, and just hang out with the people who have had your back throughout everything. Feeling connected again is healing and transformational. Let yourself be held.
Say "yes" to plans
During your divorce, and even your marriage, you might have said “no” more than “yes” to invitations or social plans with others. Now, you are officially the master of your own life. Say “yes” to whatever feels right during this time. That includes spending time with people who make your heart sing.
Find a new group
If you’ve moved to a new place, you may be starting at square one in the social department. Fortunately, there are usually many options for people who are trying to kick-start their social lives after a divorce, from local single’s groups, church groups, career-focused groups, Meetup.com gatherings, online support groups like Circles, and other in-person and online groups that concentrate on various interests.
Your post-divorce life can be anything you want it to be, and your divorce can be a positive new chapter that allows you the growth and enjoyment you may have missed while you were married.
At Hello Divorce, we’re here to support you in your new life. In addition to our affordable DIY divorce plans, we also offer divorce coaching and a library of informational resources to help you on your way. Want to know more about our services? Schedule a free call!
