Weight Loss During Divorce: Tips for Staying Healthy
Several years ago, magazines were chock full of stories about celebrities who “lost weight and got healthy” after their divorce. In fact, it even earned the dubious nickname of “the divorce diet.”
The stress of divorce has a nasty side effect: It steals the joy from almost everything in life, including eating. Fortunately, we now know that the so-called divorce diet is not a diet at all but the body’s way of dealing with stress. And living with an excessive stress level is not a healthy or sustainable way to lose body weight.
Weight changes in divorce
Studies show a strong correlation between weight and marriage. When people get married, they tend to gain weight. When people divorce, they tend to lose weight. The connection may be because people eat together once they’re married and reinforce bad habits. It may be that before and after marriage, we are biologically tuned to finding a new mate by being “attractive.” Or, it may be that marriage denotes contentment and happiness – and divorce is a highly stressful time.
Next to the death of a loved one, divorce is the second-most stressful life event a human being can endure. During a divorce, you’re dealing with a whirlwind of emotions. You may be feeling lonely, angry, depressed, and unloved. You probably can’t sleep. You may be worried about money. You might feel unable to eat. At all.
Appetite loss is common during divorce. This kind of starvation weight loss can have a significant downside if you’re not careful. At a time when you need your emotional and physical strength the most, if you’re not eating enough or healthfully, you’re not getting the nutrition you need to take care of yourself and stay mentally and physically healthy.
Stress eating patterns
There’s a direct connection between appetite and stress, and divorce can keep you in a chronic state of stress. During stressful periods, the brain floods the body with adrenaline as part of its fight-or-flight response. The more stress, the more adrenaline, keeping you in a perpetual state of overdrive. The chronic stress of divorce can completely shut down your appetite. And when you can’t eat, your body goes under even more stress … just when you need your health the most.
Consider what happens to your body when your eating habits go south and you’re not getting the nutrients you need:
- When you don’t get enough glycogen, your liver and muscles are deprived of critical hydration.
- Your blood sugar plummets and yoyos, potentially causing insulin resistance and the possibility of Type 2 diabetes.
- Inadequate nutrition can result in muscle atrophy and muscle loss.
- When you’re not taking in enough food, your body’s metabolism declines to conserve energy.
- Nutritional deficiencies can lead to malnutrition and deficiency diseases.
- Lack of nutrition and added stress increases the hormone corticosterone and makes the brain more susceptible to stress and depression. Bottom line: Starving your body is also starving your brain.
While you might be happy to see a lower number on the scale, what you won’t be able to see are these other potentially dangerous physiological changes … until you begin to experience other uncomfortable symptoms.
Tips for avoiding an unhealthy divorce diet
The divorce diet isn’t just about food; it’s about improper stress management. Self-care and learning healthy ways to cope with your feelings are key to getting through this time while maintaining your physical, emotional, and mental health.
How can you deal with this time more mindfully and healthfully?
- Put away social media. Everybody looks happy and on top of the world on social media. Of course, you already know it’s all manipulated, but it’s still hard to watch all those (fake) perfect, happy people when you aren’t feeling so perfect and happy yourself.
- Spend time with friends and family who will support you during this time.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Avoid excessive drugs or alcohol that will make you feel even more unhappy.
- Get plenty of exercise. Walk. Dance. Find a good yoga or boxing class. Exercise releases powerful endorphins and is one of the most powerful stress-busters we know.
- Learn to meditate, and watch your stressors move into and out of your awareness.
- Invest time in hobbies that make you happy. Making art, music, gardening, hiking, swimming, and taking a class are ways you can retrain your mind to focus on things you love instead of your divorce.
- Find a support group of people who understand what you’re going through.
- Don’t ignore the power of outside help and maybe even some short-term prescription medication. Getting the assistance of a skilled therapist or life coach can help you gain perspective on your current situation that you're just not able to do for yourself right now.
- Eat! If you aren’t interested in eating full meals, keep healthy grab-and-go snacks available. Think of small packages of nuts, fruit, cut-up vegetables, hummus, frozen meals, cans of soup, and protein bars. These require little preparation but can provide essential brain and body fuel.
What if you still have no interest in eating? Have faith that healthy coping mechanisms and managing your stress will have a positive impact soon. Be patient. The divorce process will end, and this too shall pass.
The end of your marriage has been a huge loss, and you deserve the time, grace, and self-care necessary to build your future on solid ground. At Hello Divorce, it is our mission to help people who are navigating divorce create the best life possible. Connect with us on Facebook, our community on Instagram, or peruse our extensive library of resources.
Need help with something more specific? Schedule a 15-minute call to learn what else we have to offer.
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